Warning Signs

Constant Reading Project: CUJO

2012-02-24T17:28:00.001-08:00

Cujo
Released: September 8, 1981.
Pages: 319. (I'll be reading a 304-page Signet paperback.)
Screen adaptations: 1983, directed by Lewis Teague.
Connections: Primary connections are to The Dead Zone, as this is the next Castle Rock novel. Sheriff Bannerman from The Dead Zone is a primary character.

Cujo is one of those Stephen King books that are part of the cultural zeitgeist. How many St. Bernards are named Cujo now? (Yes, if I had a St. Bernard it would be named Cujo. Cliche, I know, but what are you gonna do?)

What I remember about Cujo might not be accurate. While telling my wife about the book, she corrected me on a number of points. Which I supposed is better than King's situation. He's often said he barely remembers writing the book.

I'm excited to read this, even though I know how it ends. My wife and frequent contributor Savannah might chime in on this later, about how she pretty much knew what was going to happen. Look forward to that.

Now, I know I'm behind in the project. The next six books are ones I thoroughly enjoy, so it should go quick.

If you are keeping score, I've read eight books so far and put away 4,099 pages. That might seem like a lot, but I have 51 books (not counting the two scheduled but as yet unpublished books) to go.

Constant Reading Project: history of horror

2012-02-24T15:22:00.001-08:00

This has been a good time for me to read Stephen King's Danse Macabre. In about a month, I shall be returning to the higher education system. No, not as a teacher, thank you for saying so. I have to finish my degree.

If I were a teacher, this book would be required reading. Yes, it's specifically an examination of horror in the years 1950-1980, but it is just as much a catalog of pop culture for those three decades.

The only problem is that it's outdated. The good news is that many of the examples used in the book are just as pertinent to the field in 2012 as they were in 1980. Reading Ray Bradbury, Robert Bloch and Harlan Ellison is just as important now as then. Watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Alien," "The Exorcist," "The Twilight Zone," and "The Outer Limits" remain staples of a horror fan's diet.

Due to the timing of the book, King didn't have to discuss "Friday the 13th," "Saw," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," or --gasp-- "Twilight."

So as important as the slasher, torture porn and found footage films that have come out since 1980, they don't register as phenomena in this book.

What could be most valuable to modern readers is the section on horror radio. Radio shows were pretty much obsolete in 1980 and practically antique now. It's important to know the evolution of the genre and radio was a huge part of it. Is there any more classic or culturally relevant horror tale as the Orson Welles broadcast of "War of the Worlds"? The answer is no.

It would be fun, too, to update King's lists of recommended books and films. Doing so, however, would require a revamp of the entire book in order to make the lists relevant.

One could easily call Danse Macabre an important book. Before it, there were not many (any?) thorough examinations of the horror genre in various media. Now, you can find entire tomes on subgenres from zombies and vampires to encyclopedic books on single franchises such as "Friday the 13th."

Just one more thing King beat the world to the punch on.

Another 421 pages down. Up next is Cujo.

Stoked

2012-02-18T15:53:00.000-08:00

The nominees for this year's Horror Writers Association Bram Stoker Awards are out and it's an interesting list.

Look at the list and you'll see no big names in the best novel category. That's not to say there aren't good books there. Lee Thomas and Joe McKinney are bad asses. What's crazy is that the "household" names are in other categories. Nancy Holder and Jonathan Maberry in the Young Adult category (although both will be beaten by Daniel Kraus's "Rotters"). Maberry, himself a total bad ass, gets a second nod in the Graphin Novel category. He's up against Joe Hill, Alan Moore, and the combined force of Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden.

Last year's best novel winner Peter Straub has a nomination in the Long Fiction group. Fellow nominee Caitlin R. Keirnan is also up for best collection. Against Joyce Carol Oates.

TV rules the screenplay nominations, with nods to "True Blood," "The Walking Dead," and "American Horror Story."

Stephen King's "Herman Wouk is Still Alive" is the master's only nomination this year but Rocky Wood was nominated in the nonfiction category for "Stephen King: A Literary Companion."

The man of the night could be Gene O'Neill. He's nominated for his novel "Not Fade Away," "Rusting Chickens" in the long fiction group and his short story "Graffiti Sonata."

The Bram Stoker Awards will be presented on March 31 in Salt Lake City, Utah, during the World Horror Convention.

Read on for the entire list of nominees.

NOVEL:

Conlon, Christopher — A Matrix Of Angels
Lamberson, Greg — Cosmic Forces
Malfi, Ronald — Floating Staircase
McKinney, Joe — Flesh Eaters
O’Neill, Gene — Not Fade Away
Thomas, Lee — The German

FIRST NOVEL:

Bird, Allyson — Isis Unbound
Jacobs, John, Horner — Southern Gods
Lee, Frazer — The Lamplighters
Roche, Thomas — The Panama Laugh
Talley, Brett J. — That Which Should Not Be

YA NOVEL:

Faherty, J. G. — Ghosts of Coronado Bay, A Maya Blair Mystery
Holder, Nancy — The Screaming Season
Kraus, Daniel — Rotters
Maberry, Jonathan — Dust & Decay
Ness, Patrick — A Monster Calls
Oppel, Kenneth — This Dark Endeavor: The Apprenticeship of Victor Frankenstein

GRAPHIC NOVEL:

Brosgol, Vera — Anya’s Ghost
Hill, Joe — Locke & Key, Volume 4
Jensen, Jeff — Green River Killer
Maberry, Jonathan — Marvel Universe vs. Wolverine
Mignola, Mike and Golden, Christopher — The Plague Ships
Moore, Alan — Neonomicon

LONG FICTION:

Calvillo, Michael Louis — 7Brains
Hodge, Brian — Roots and All
Kiernan, Caitlin — The Colliers’ Venus (1893)
Little, John R. — Ursa Major
O’Neill, Gene — Rusting Chickens
Straub, Peter — The Ballad of Ballard and Sandrine

SHORT FICTION:

Castro, Adam Troy — “Her Husband’s Hands” (Lightspeed Magazine)
King, Stephen — “Herman Wouk Is Still Alive” (The Atlantic Magazine, May 2011)
O’Neill, Gene — “Graffiti Sonata” (Dark Discoveries)
Palisano, John — “X is for Xyx” (M is for Monster)
Saunders, George — “Home” (The New Yorker Magazine, June 13, 2011)
Warren, Kaaron — “All You Can Do Is Breathe” (Blood and Other Cravings)

SCREENPLAY:

Ball, Alan — True Blood: Spellbound (Episode #44)
Gimple, Scott M. — The Walking Dead, episode 13: “Pretty Much Dead Already”
Gimple, Scott M. — The Walking Dead, episode 9: “Save the Last One”
Goodman, Cory — Priest
Nolfi, George — The Adjustment Bureau
Sharzer, Jessica — American Horror Story, episode 12: “Afterbirth”

ANTHOLOGY:

Carbone, Tracy L. — NEHW Presents: Epitaphs
Dann, Jack and Nick Gevers — Ghosts By Gaslight
Datlow, Ellen — Blood And Other Cravings
Datlow, Ellen — Supernatural Noir
Hutton, Frank J. — Tattered Souls 2
Skipp, John — Demons: Encounters with the Devil and his Minions, Fallen Angels and the Possessed

COLLECTION:

Connolly, Lawrence C. — Voices: Tales of Horror
Fowler, Christopher — Red Gloves: The London Horrors
Kiernan, Caitlin R. — Two Worlds and In-Between
Morton, Lisa — Monsters of L.A.
Oates, Joyce Carol — The Corn Maiden and Other Nightmares
Ochse, Weston — Multiplex Fandango

NON-FICTION:

Bannatyne, Lesley Pratt — Halloween Nation: Behind the Scenes of America’s Fright Night
Crawford, Gary William/Jim Rockhill/Brian J. Showers, Eds. — Reflections in a Glass Darkly: Essays on J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Mamatas, Nick — Starve Better
Mogk, Matt — Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies
Tibbetts, John C. — The Gothic Imagination
Wood, Rocky — Stephen King: A Literary Companion

POETRY COLLECTION:

Addison, Linda — How to Recognize a Demon Has Become Your Friend
Alexander, Maria — At Louche Ends: Poetry for the Decadent, the Damned & the Absinthe-Minded
Boston, Bruce — Surrealities
Clark, G.O — Shroud of Night
Simon, Marge — The Mad Hattery
Simon, Marge — Unearthly Delights

Briefly, on Harlan Ellison

2012-02-09T16:58:00.001-08:00

I just finished watching the 2007 documentary "Harlan Ellison: Dreams with Sharp Teeth."

If you've ever read Ellison (Harlan Ellison is a copyright of The Kilimanjaro Corporation), you know he is a genius/madman (and oh, how often the two are one). The film intersperses clips from lectures and talk show appearances, interviews with the subject and friends, and segments of Ellison reciting his works.

I enjoy films such as this. It offers a glimpse into another writer's world and let's me know that A) I'm not that cluttered, B) I'm not even close to being in his league-- not that many are, and C) it takes a bit of madness to be that good.

Another important lesson for me and any aspiring artist can be found in the clip linked here. Ellison reminds us all that writing (and by extension any creative art) IS work and one should always get paid for his or her work.

It is appropriate that I mention Ellison now, as he will soon come up in Danse Macabre. Stephen King was smart enough to let Ellison speak for himself.

Constant Reading Project: Danse Macabre

2012-02-06T16:29:00.000-08:00

Danse Macabre
Released: April 20, 1981
Pages: 400
Screen adaptations: none
Connections to other works: Well, really, it's related to all of them, in a way.

Danse Macabre is King's first non-fiction book. The tome covers horror from 1950-1980 in film, TV and books.

I listen to a lot of audiobooks and I prefer books read by the author. Stephen King's voice is in my head. I hear his voice more when I read his non-fiction work. It's like he's speaking to me. Early in the book he says that much of the genesis of it occurred while he was teaching at the University of Maine. I don't feel like I'm being lectured, rather it's more like a workshop class.

I think this book sold better than it would have if someone else had written it. When I first read it (when I was in seventh grade and really starting to invest in language as a serious subject), I didn't know what it was about. It had King's name on it, so I checked it out from the library. I learned from it, tried to memorize the list of mandatory literature and film at the back, and went out into the world.

There's a 30th anniversary edition available, with a great essay that first appeared in two parts in "Fangoria" magazine. I, however, will be reading a 423-page purple paperback from Berkeley that was released in 1983. Nothing special about the edition, but it is fun to see the $4.95 cover price.

Constant reading project: Firestopper

2012-02-06T12:18:00.000-08:00

So here's the thing. Firestarter has never been among my favorite Stephen King books. That hasn't changed.

If anything, I might like it less.

When I first read the 1980 novel, I was an untrained reader/writer. I was raw and dirty. That's how I liked my art, whether film, literature, music or other.

Firestarter always felt forced. King has often said he writes without outlines, just free-wheelin' wherever the story takes him. Firestarter feels as if every beat was planned well ahead of time but when it came time to write, the outline forced things to happen instead of letting things go on their own.

The good news is that Firestarter is relatively short. The time invested in the novel is fairly equal to the enjoyment gained from it. Not much time, not much enjoyment. It is fast-paced, which is good, but there's not as much connection to the characters as some of King's other works.

There are no characters in the next book, so even disconnected characters are better in the eyes of some.

Will 1 million people watch "Night of the Living Dead"?

2012-02-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

Saturday, Feb. 4, is a very special day. It's George A. Romero's birthday. You know him. He's the guy that birthed all the zombie stuff you're seeing these days. If he'd never made "Night of the Living Dead" in 1968 the world would be a very different place.

I don't want to live in that world.

To honor the man on his 72nd birthday, a Facebook page asking people join to watch the father of zombie films was started.

The question is, will 1 million people watch "Night of the Living Dead" tomorrow? The site hopes to get that many people watching it at the same time. I'd settle for that many people watching it on the same day.

So if you haven't watched "Night of the Living Dead" recently, this is a good time. It's a great day to get together with friends, throw a party, cheer for some good guys and bad guys and see which team wins. (Super Bowl or NOTLD? Go Patriots!) Even better, find some folks who maybe have never seen "Night of the Living Dead" and show them what they've been missing. After that, you can watch some other Romero films. I suggest "Dawn of the Dead" and "Martin."

Head over to the Facebook page and sign on. Then let Warning Signs know if you watched the movie or not.

And happy birthday, Mr. Romero!

Scary song of the week" Firestarter

2012-02-03T15:37:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since we did a song. Since I'm reading Stephen King's Firestarter in the Constant Reading Project, I thought I'd offer you "Firestarter" by Prodigy.

This is not their best song or best video. Do some searching, you'll find out what I mean.

Constant Reading Project: Firestarter

2012-01-31T19:14:00.000-08:00

Firestarter
Released: Sept. 29, 1980
Pages: 426
Screen adaptations: 1984, directed by Mark L. Lester.
Connections to other work: Government organization "The Shop" gets mentioned in The Tommyknockers and is assumed to be responsible for creating the Captain Trips superflu in The Stand.

We've entered the 1980s with King's work, and I have a confession: I've only read Firestarter once and didn't like it very much. It felt too forced to me. It lacks the organic progression of the best of King's work. In other words, in feels like he's trying too hard.

But I could be wrong. I read the novel in 2000, having avoided it for as long as I could because I didn't want to read something that seemed too much like a little girl version of Carrie White. I don't really like the movie, either. If ever something was ripe for a remake (instead of a shitty and unnecessary sequel, which is out there), this is it.

So I'm keeping an open mind this time. I'm not entirely the same person I was twelve years ago, so I'm reading this now with a different perspective. Who knows? Maybe it will be better and maybe it won't.

I'll be reading a 403-page paperback, but my next day off isn't until Monday, so it might take me longer to get through this than it took me to polish off The Dead Zone.

In other news, my wife and occasional Warning Signs contributor, Savannah started reading the next book on the list, Cujo. We might have her thoughts on that right about the time I write the introduction to it.

One last thing. Firestarter is dedicated to Shirley Jackson. If you've never The Haunting of Hill House, get your ass in gear. If all you know of Jackson is "The Lottery," and that memory is tainted by late high school or early collegiate required reading, give it another chance. While you are at it, pick up We Have Always Lived in the Castle.

Constant Reading Project: In the ZONE

2012-01-30T21:09:00.000-08:00

Another one bites the dust. I wrapped up the 402 pages of The Dead Zone in about three days.

The novel has a number of things going for it, not the least of which is a compelling lead character. Johnny Smith is a classic tragic hero. he has ups and downs (mostly downs), victories and defeats. At the end of the day, he dies as all tragic heroes do.

The book's other major strength is its dual climaxes. The book ramps up as Johnny helps Castle County Sheriff George Bannerman solve a serial killer case. (We'll see more of Bannerman and Castle Rock soon.) This could easily have been split in two, or could have been a novella if King had cut out the early scenes of Greg Stillson, the book's ultimate villain.

Strong lead, a formidable villain, well-drawn secondary characters, and two climaxes for the price of one. What more could you want?

How about the irony of a book that focuses on someone who can see snatches of the future being a portent of things to come in the author's work? Bannerman's dog days will come two books from now in Cujo. Castle Rock will show up a few more times before being destroyed in Needful Things.

The Dead Zone, while horrifying in its implications about the rightness of political assassinations, could be considered King's first published foray into a more mainstream literature. It's scary, for sure, but it's a breakthrough from the type of horror King was getting pigeonholed into during his first decade of publishing. At the same time, it's never a departure from King's personal style. We know it's King throughout. It's undeniable.

And it's not perfect. There's a moment late in the novel when Johnny saves a bunch of high schoolers from a fire. A one-liner character screams that Johnny started the fire "just like in that book Carrie." Yes, King and his works were becoming household names. The truth is that the moment, as much as I hate it, would have felt more realistic if the girl had said "just like in that movie Carrie," because everyone know high schoolers don't read. This reference means that the events of Carrie are fictional (or considered fiction, at the least) and not in the same literary universe as The Dead Zone. King gets self-referential to greater effect in the latter books of The Dark Tower series. His pseudonym Richard Bachman, compares the situation in Thinnner to a Stephen King novel. Perhaps he did it then to throw off those suspecting him of being Bachman. Doing it in The Dead Zone just feels too early to get so full of oneself as to use your own work as a point of reference.

I believe King learned from this. Later references to other novels maintain their acceptance as reality. In Bag of Bones, Michael Noonan talks to Ralph Roberts from Insomnia and mentions the suicide of Thad Beaumont, the hero of The Dark Half. These things exist in the same universe and doesn;t throw the reader off as much.

OK, done with the griping. Next up is Firestarter, which means I'll have plenty of griping to do then.

Book to film: The Dead Zone

2012-01-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

I don't like to compare books to the film adaptations made of them. It's not fair. Books and film are different media and should be treated differently. Some of the ways we talk about them can be the same. We can talk about character development, plot, pace, backstory, all those things. Number one, always and forever is: is it a good story?

So when comparing the 1979 novel "The Dead Zone" to the 1983 film, we should be able to agree that the number one question can be answered with a resounding yes. I've never heard anyone who has read the book or seen the movie tell me the story wasn't good. They may not like one or the other for various reasons, but that doesn't mean there isn't a great story behind it.

Let's skip all the differences, can we? I'm sick of talking about how a movie left out someone's favorite character or how the filmmakers rearranged the order of certain scenes, or condensed the timeline. Different media require different approaches. Discussing differences is bullshit.

I want to look at something that's the same and it's purely aesthetic.

I want you to look at the font used for the title of the novel. Yes, I'm a bit of a font nerd (although no where near as much as my wife. These cookies were delicious). We'll talk some more about typeface when King switches from Doubleday to Viking. The beginnings of what I refer to as the Stephen King font are here, and that's important. It's a serif font -- a serif is the little flair at the end of a letter; "sans serif" means the letter doesn't have that little tag at the end.

It's a very bold font. It demands to be all caps. It's easy to recognize and hard to forget. Which makes it a natural choice for further use.

Whomever designed this poster for Paramount's 1983 release of David Cronenberg's "The Dead Zone" knew what they were doing. By 1983, King pretty much ruled the world. Big names in the horror field such as Cronenberg were taking on King's films and doing a damn good job of it. Not all of them were smart enough to use the same font on the book cover for their marketing.

Sometimes, these things are more subtle. This one is completely obvious. It immediately identifies the movie in relation to the novel and rightly so. It's still "Stephen King's The Dead Zone." Not "The Dead Zone by David Cronenberg" or "Christopher Walken in The Dead Zone." Cronenberg and Walken easily could have sold this film to audiences, but would not have reached the same mass audience gained by splashing King's name all over it. It's basic marketing, folks.

(One warning, though. Don't be like the people who made "The Lawnmower Man" and use King's name but not his story. It's all about story. Remember that and you'll do well.)

So, anyway. When comparing a book to an adaptation, it's often healthier to focus on similarities, even if it's just a font choice.

Happy birthday, Frank Darabont!

2012-01-28T15:33:00.000-08:00

I know people, and I bet you do, too, that will say they've never seen a Stephen King movie. Chances are good that they've seen "The Shawshank Redemption" and/or "The Green Mile." The man who made those Oscar-nominated films is celebrating his 53rd birthday today.

Frank Darabont, who got robbed by "Forrest Gump" for best picture in 1994, also directed "The Mist" and the old time theater movie "The Majestic." He was the mastermind behind the first season of "The Walking Dead." Before stepping behind the camera, Darabont was a writer. He wrote the remake of "The Blob," "The Fly II," and one of Freddy Krueger's better films.

That's right, Darabont wrote the screenplay for "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors."

Constant Reading Project: The Dead Zone

2012-01-28T07:34:00.000-08:00

The Dead Zone
428 pages
Released in August 1979
Screen adaptations: 1983, directed by David Cronenberg; TV series, six seasons beginning in 2002.
Connections to other works: This is the first Castle Rock novel.

The Dead Zone came out a couple months before I did, which means King's first hardcover bestseller is more than 32 years old. Following the epic of The Stand and its ginormous cast, King chooses to focus on two polarizing characters: Johnny Smith and Greg Stillson. One is a very good man that has to do a bad thing. One is a very bad man who is perceived to be doing good. King handles the paradox with a keen touch.

This is another one of those books that has been overshadowed in popular culture by a successful film adaptation. Don't get me wrong; I love the Cronenberg film. It's one of the best King movies made. For the sake of film, Stillson gets cut out until Smith meets him later in the film. In the novel, Stillson is there from the prologue, showing us why he's such a compelling villain. I understand the decision but I want you to pick up the book and find out what you're missing.

I will be reading a Signet first printing paperback which clocks in at 402 pages. And when I'm done, I'll give the book away. Comment on this post or the follow up in a couple days for your chance to win it.

Constant Reading Project: Please Stand Up

2012-01-27T19:47:00.000-08:00

Being sick have its benefits. One gets plenty of time to sit around and not do anything. Which is how I managed to finish reading "The Stand" today.

Reading "The Stand" and being sick, however, is a level of paranoia that is ridiculous. You start to think you have the flu, then the superflu. And then you start to contemplate the end of the world as you know it. Of course, if you are sick, you won't be one of the survivors.

Surviving is what Stephen King's fourth novel is about. Survive Captain Trips, survive your journey to Nebraska, Boulder or Las Vegas. Live through your choice.

And that's the other important aspect of the novel, to me. A very well-read friend of mine recently read "The Stand." She doesn't like the sometimes demonic paths King takes, but, as she said, there is a balance in "The Stand" that makes it better.

"The Stand" is a battle between good and evil. But it isn't a nice guy with no beliefs versus some random unidentifiable evil. It is the Christian God versus Satan. Each side has its representatives, even if they don't completely give in to the theology behind the forces propelling them forward.

Let's stop right there for a second. I have something to tell you. If this makes you feel closer to me, great. If it makes you think I'm some kind of weird hypocrite, well, you are entitled to your opinion.

I'm a Christian. I believe in God and Jesus. I'm part of a church. As it relates to "The Stand," I like to think I'd follow Mother Abigail and not Randall Flagg. This has not always been the case, but that's how it is now.

What matters is that King understands what can make people choose one side or the other. he gives his characters -- and his readers -- free agency. You get to identify with noble characters such as Stuart Redman and deceived characters such as Lloyd Henreid. The folks who take up in Boulder aren't perfect. They have doubts and reservations. It takes the very rational Glen Bateman a while to accept the irrationality of the situation. Those who follow the Walkin' Dude aren't entirely bad. Sure, some are. Some (Trashcan Man comes to mind) never really got a chance at life.

You get to make your own choices and I get to make mine. I've lived in Las Vegas but I've chosen to live, figuratively, in Boulder now.

That's my soapbox. I've made my stand. Let's get back to the book.

What a beast. As previously mentioned, I couldn't get a hold of the original 823-page version. I tried. So I read the 1,152-page complete & revised edition. You could kill someone with this book. (But don't, please.)

Many still believe this is King's masterpiece and it's hard to argue against that. The scope of the novel is incredible. It has a cast that slowly grows then takes its lumps. There are the, well, you can't really call them characters ... The people whose stories get mentioned, but aren't part of the forward momentum. But they add to the realism. Not everyone survived. And later, your favorite character might get blown up.

There are still people who haven't read this, so I'm trying to keep some things under wraps.

"The Stand" is a huge book and is worth the time it takes to get through it.

The page count in the Constant Reading Project is 2,873. We have a long way to go. Next up is "The Dead Zone."

Belated birthdays and traveling blues

2012-01-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

I'm on vacation (trapped in snow in North Idaho) so I missed a couple birthdays this week.

Happy birthday to director John Carpenter. I still haven't watched "The Ward," but it's in my Netflix queue.

Happy birthday to Edgar Allan Poe. (I don't think he'll notice that I'm a day late.)

Now for traveling news:

My wife and I had originally planned to drive through Utah and Nevada to visit some of my family (and to pick up some of the books I need for the Constant Reading Project). Due to unforeseen expenses related to a vehicle, that plan was scrapped. Yes, I'm sad about that but I'm not letting it ruin our good time.

Instead, we are in Sandpoint, Idaho, where my wife grew up. Every time we're here, I like to visit the Corner Bookstore on Main Street. The store has a fine selection of new and used books, which is awesome. That's not why I go there. I go there to ogle the Stephen King first editions. I spent ten minutes just staring at a first edition of "The Stand" which was next to first editions-- the Donald M. Grant limited first editions-- of the second and third "Dark Tower" books. I covered my ears as my wife asked how much the books cost. I could still hear the proprietor as he said, "Those two are $750. I have more in the back. That there is the British edition of 'Desperation,' came out six weeks before we got it in the U.S."

I simultaneously love and hate this man. I'm thinking of going back while I'm still here and asking if I can see what else he has. I know he has other British editions on the regular shelf. There's a British edition of "Misery" I wouldn't mind having. He has a second printing of the first edition of "The Shining," too. It's a more manageable $35. What I need, though, and I haven't told my wife this, is a first edition of "The Dark Half." While "Misery" was my first King, "The Dark Half" sealed my fate. I wouldn't having that British "Desperation," either. We're going to have a lot of fun talking about that book when we get to it.

Anyway, I have to get dressed and get ready to brave the snow. There is some seafood chowder in my immediate future. And in case you're keeping track, I'm 500 pages away from finishing "The Stand."

Church of the Divine Psychopath

2012-01-14T08:32:00.000-08:00

As I sat on the couch, watching "Friday the 13th" movies last night, I started to think about some of the other media Jason Voorhees has worked his way into. Mostly, I was thinking a line of books that came out in the mid-2000s based on the franchise.

Publisher Black Flame ran two separate lines in 2003 and 2005, one based on "Jason X" and the other featuring standalone stories within the context of the earthbound films. I only bought one of these books.

"Church of the Divine Psychopath" has our anti-hero being resurrected by a Christian extremist group that believes Jason is the Hand of God, the embodiment of divine vengeance sent to destroy the world's sinners.

Heck of a premise, if you ask me. That's why this was the one book in the series I bought. the others ("Hell Lake," "Hate-Kill-Repeat," "The Jason Strain," and "Carnival of Maniacs") didn't strike me as being as risky. The others were full of the people you'd expect Jason to encounter: other serial killers, islands full of promiscuous teens and carny freaks. Been there, done that.

"Church of the Divine Psychopath," on the other hand, put Jason in league (indirectly) with God. Naturally, it turns out bad for the churchies, because the only person who can tell Jason what to do is his mother. Jason doesn't just kill the physically sinful; Jason destroys those who seek to usurp the power of God to smote whom He wishes. What's interesting is that idea of Jason as righteous vengeance, as opposed to mindless killing machine. The brain cells are ticking inside Jason's soft skull, just not at the same pace as the average human. I've always contended that Jason knows what he's doing. It's not that he kills everyone he meets, it's that most of the people he meets get killed. (For an example of Jason's restraint, see "Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan." He encounters many people he doesn't kill.) The lesson is that trying to harness Jason for your own means will always backfire.

***

As I was thinking about these books, I decided to check Amazon and see if they were available for the Kindle. Not only that, but they are out of print. Black Flame closed down in 2008. What this means for the mass market paperback I own and the other books floating out there is high demand for a low supply. The cheapest used copy of "Church of the Divine Psychopath" on Amazon is $19. Thirty bucks will get you a new copy. The one available new copy of "Hate-Kill-Repeat" is $99.95. The "Jason X" books are significantly less expensive, but still priced well above the original cover price. I think I paid $7 for my copy of "Church of the Divine Psychopath."

And no, it's not for sale.

Perhaps it is time for someone to buy up Black Flame's back catalog and do some reprints. Get these novels out in ebook form for folks like me who were gifted with a Kindle Fire for Christmas.

Bring Jason back to life once more.

It's Friday, it's 11:30, it's time to party!

2012-01-12T17:47:00.000-08:00

There are three Friday the 13ths in 2012 and tomorrow is the first of the trifecta. Above is one of many videos highlighting favorite moments from the "Friday the 13th" film series. Everyone has their favorites. My wife and guest blogger Savannah has a preference for "Freddy vs. Jason." I enjoy that film (and not just because it's one of the few horror movies Savannah and I have watched together) and I also like the 2009 remake.

You know, let's talk about that for a second. Of all the movies to get upset about, why "Friday the 13th"? It's not like getting mad about remaking "A Nightmare on Elm Street." Robert Englund IS Freddy. Who is Jason? Kane Hodder? Look, Hodder is awesome and I love his work, but Jason's legacy was sealed before Hodder put on the hockey mask. Chances are good that your favorite Friday moment was not performed by Kane Hodder.

So when it comes to bitching about the "Friday the 13th" remake, give it a rest.

We discuss the best kills, which is always fun, but there are so many great effects (and plenty of subpar ones, too) that we could spend the entire day talking about it. If I didn't have to work at 4 a.m., we could all play the movies we have and live chat about them. Damn, that sounds fun.

Except for having to watch part 5. If you've forgotten, that's the one with the fake Jason. Bastards.

For my money, parts 3 and 4 (pre-Hodder) are the best of the dozen (that's F13 1-8, Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X, Freddy vs. Jason, and the remake). You can buy the "Friday the 13th" Ultimate Collection here. It only has 1-8, which sucks, but it's a studio thing, so what can you do?

I might as well ask: What is your favorite Friday?

(The next Friday the 13th is in April. At that time, we'll talk about the under appreciated "Friday the 13th" TV series.)

Constant Reading Project: THE STAND

2012-01-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

The Stand
Released: November 1978 (revised edition released in May 1990).
Pages: 823 (original cut), 1,152 (uncut & revised).
Screen adaptations: 1994, miniseries, directed by Mick Garris. Proposed theatrical remake in development.

Connections to other works: Elements of The Stand appear in the Dark Tower books, particularly the use of R.F. as initials for a bad guy. The same motif is used in Eyes of the Dragon.

OK, people. We ran into a snag. At zero hour, I was unable to get my hands on the original cut of this massive novel. I feel like I'm cheating here, but that's just how it's going down. I'll be reading the 1,152-page uncut and revised edition of The Stand now, in place of the original 823-page cut. If you feel this pollutes my project, I'm sorry.

The good news is that it cuts out 823 pages, equal to about 11 days-worth of reading, on the 77-page per day pace. I might need those 11 days later in the year.

Fight for your Rites

2012-01-09T20:48:00.000-08:00

There are plenty of movies out there about exorcism. In the last few years, there have been several -- "The Exorcism of Emily Rose," "The Last Exorcism" and, the subject of this review, "The Rite." On a side note, for a really interesting article about this film, and specifically about the activities of exorcists in the Dakotas, read this article by Rapid City (S.D.) Journal writer Mary Garrigan.

Released in 2011, costarring Anthony Hopkins and Colin O'Donoghue and directed by Mikael Hafstrom (also directed the film adaptation of the Stephen King story "1408"), "The Rite" takes a look at the Catholic rite of exorcism. It focuses on seminary student Michael Kovak (O'Donoghue) who struggles with his faith, gets sent to the Vatican to learn to be an exorcist and meets Father Lucas Trevant (Hopkins) and demon-possessed chaos ensues.

This movie has some major flaws. For one, what the box says the movie is about — Trevant's character becoming possessed after an exorcism patient dies — is only partially true. Really, this movie isn't sure what it's about. Is it about the Catholic church's insistence on teaching an ancient ritual that flies in the face of logic? Yes. Is it about a young man running from his father (for reasons we never really understand) and struggling with his doubts about Christianity and even the very existence of God himself? Yes. Is it about a journalist who wants to uncover the truth about exorcism? Yes. Is it about a pregnant girl and a little boy and a demon that's shaped like a mule?

Yep. All those things, too.

Many great movies succeed in being about too many things but leave them in the peripheral, allowing a strongly-developed center plot to shine through — "The Rite" does not. Half way through the film, T.J. commented to me, "Do you know what this movie is missing? A coherent plot line."

The true meaningful part of the film — Hopkins' possession — lasted less than 30 minutes. The rest was a slow build up for a climax that never really satisfied. "The Rite" was not good at building suspense. Some symbols and foreshadowing were too obvious, while some were never explained fully and just muddied the waters.

All that being said, there were some excellent moments. The makeup and effects during Hopkins' possession were fantastic. Anthony Hopkins is one of my favorite crazy actors, and in "The Rite" he gets to be at his craziest — transforming from a bumbling, slightly incoherent old man to a raging, thriving, spitting demon in seconds. It's a wonderful performance.

And Hafstrom brought over some tricks from "1408." The use of voice is fantastic — subtly changing tones and textures, animalistic growls pair with whispers and voice overs to add dimension and tension to the exorcism scenes and to Kovak's own personal demons. They do their job well; leaving the audience feeling doubtful over what is true.

But in the end, "The Rite" simultaneously says too much — way too much pointless back story on Kovak and his trip through seminary, including a ridiculous scene in which he gives Last Rites to a woman who has just been hit by a car — and too little. The film manages to keep its PG-13 rating by cutting away during some of the more violent scene, leaving you with a little blood splatter and mumbled dialogue to guess what actually happened.

Constant Reading Project: Shifting into high gear

2012-01-09T15:54:00.000-08:00

The Constant Reading Project has closed the book of the first of Stephen King's short story collections. Night Shift includes 20 stories, some of which are classic King tales and some that even other Constant Readers may have forgotten about. I think it's important to say something about each story, so that's what we're going to do.

Ready?

"Jerusalem's Lot": An epistolary tale about the early days of the town that would eventually be overrun by vampires. The Lot was evil well before the vampire Kurt Barlow came to town and even before Hubert Marsten built his home on the hill.

The style of this story is rather antiquated but don't let that fool you. King is doing what many English majors still do today: imitating his heroes. "Jerusalem's Lot" is a Lovecraftian tale, even calling on Lovecraft's Elder Gods. And why shouldn't King pay homage to Lovecraft? As far as New England horrorshows go, Lovecraft was the O.G. (Unless you count Nathaniel Hawthorne's weird tales or any of the fire and brimstone Puritan writers, but they are in King's story, too.)

"Graveyard Shift": Placing this after "Jerusalem's Lot" is brilliant. The first story has sounds that could be rats (like Lovecraft's "Rats in the Walls") and this one has the biggest damn rats ever.

"Night Surf": Captain Trips first foray into print. "Night Surf" is one small group's experience with the flu. Some minor changes into the origin of the world-killing germ and you have "The Stand," which happens to be our next book.

"I am the Doorway": This is one of those forgotten gems to everyone who doesn't own the first paperback edition. That cover had a hand on it which had sprouted eyes. King has never shied away from turning normal people into monsters. Lesson: the effects of space travel may not be immediately apparent.

"The Mangler": Write what you know, eh? King worked at a laundry (and a mill not unlike that in "Graveyard Shift") in the first year after college. Not only will he turn normal people into monsters, he'll turn the machinery of ours lives against us. (This will come up again. And again.)

"The Boogeyman": Children are creatures of instinct, mostly because they don't know any better. It makes adults feel better to have "rational thoughts" that can block instincts. Kids can be afraid without anyone telling them there is something to be afraid of.

Without giving away the ending, this is one of those Twilight Zone/EC Comics brand of stories that turn at the last minute. When that happens, our heroes usually don't come out on top.

"Gray Matter": If you want to get analytical, you could say this story is an example of how King knew his drinking was having adverse effects on his life. If you don't, it's another normal guy becoming a monster tale. Your choice.

"Battleground": Another homage, this one to Richard Matheson's "Prey." Toy soldiers break out a can of whoop ass on a hitman. Always read what comes in the box, kids.

"Trucks": Machines one bad, I told you it would come back up. King's film adaptation of this story includes one of my all-time favorite cinematic moments.

"Sometimes They Come Back": King writes about a schoolteacher with a haunted past. The story is more cynical than the made-for-TV movie that would come out of it. Fewer people survive intact. This is also a story about sacrifice. Not in the existential what-would-you-give-up-for-love kind of sacrifice, but the you-owe-me-blood kind.

"Strawberry Spring": There's a killer on the loose. Likes to take out coeds. My favorite part of this story is that the narrator sees connections no one else does. Until the end, that is.

"The Ledge": This early period contained many of King's grislier short works. "The Ledge" isn't so much about a man peering into the abyss as it is about a man hanging on for dear life so as not to fall into the abyss. Or, it could just be a story about a friendly wager.

"The Lawnmower Man": Imps and demons run through many of the stories in this book. Some of them still do manual labor. WARNING: This story has nothing to do with virtual reality.

"Quitters Inc.": I think this is my favorite story in the book. Quitting smoking is hard. When battling addictions, sometimes we need to be pushed, not coddled. This story pushes. Hard.

"I Know What You Need": At heart, it's a love story about a nerdy kid who does everything he can to get the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, the means to the end ruin the whole thing. I feel for Edward in this story, but I also get Elizabeth's side of it.

For the ladies: It's OK to be single. Be strong, be you. Choose who you want to be with. And if you just need to be alone for a while, that's cool.

Guys: don't be jerks, OK? I know, we all have our moments when we get all Neanderthal and do stupid shit. Just don't take it out on the women in your lives, is all I'm saying.

"Children of the Corn": Why has this story bred so many crappy direct-to-video sequels? If I knew, I could put a stop to it. One thing we need to get straight here: when people refer to groups of crazy kids as "children of the corn," I think they are missing the point. The kids in this story didn't wipe out all the adults around them because they got sent to bed with no supper. They did it because they got a bit twisted up in their faith (and because something in the corn told them to do it). All kids hate their parents at some point. If they start dressing funny and talking to the garden, then you have a problem.

"The Last Rung on the Ladder": King does guilt in ways that make you feel like shit. We get so busy in our own lives that sometimes we forget about people who might need us. The lesson here is to always let those you love have your forwarding address. Along with "Children of the Corn," it's also a reminder that Nebraska sucks.

"The Man Who Loved Flowers": I kind of think this might be the same guy from "Strawberry Spring."

"One For the Road": Back to 'Salem's Lot, only this time post vampire takeover. Think of it as an early version of Steve Niles "30 Days of Night."

"The Woman in the Room": Write what you know, eh? For personal reasons, this is a hard story to read. I imagine it would be the same for other people I know and many people everywhere. Remember what I said about King on guilt? Sometimes it's not just about our actions, but what we think we might do in a given situation.

There's no ghosts or monsters, but this is the scariest story in the book.

It's also the last story in the book.

The Devil Inside: You going?

2012-01-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Just checking ot see who has or is planning to see "The Devil Inside" this weekend. Warning Signs is broke this week, so if you go and want to write us a review, send an email to tj@warning-signs.net.

Catch you later.

Constant Reading Project: NIGHT SHIFT

2012-01-05T13:19:00.001-08:00

Night Shift
Released: February 1978
Pages: Original hardback version had 336 pages. The 2011 Anchor Books paperback I'll be reading has 505 pages.

Screen adaptations: It's a short story collection, so here goes:
"Children of the Corn" 1984 and again in 2009 (for the SyFy network).
"Cat's Eye," 1985, an anthology film that included adaptations of "Quitters, Inc." and "The Ledge."
"Maximum Overdrive," 1985, based on "Trucks" (also adapted in 1997 for the USA Network) and directed by King.
"Graveyard Shift," 1990.
~~"The Lawmower Man," 1992.~~ King sued and won to have his name removed from this because the only thing the film had in common with the short story is that some grass gets cut.
"The Mangler," 1995, directed by Tobe Hooper.
"Sometimes They Come Back," 1991. Not bad but avoid name-only sequels. Just like with the handful of awful "Children of the Corn" sequels.

The story "Battleground" was adapted as part of TNT's "Nightmares & Dreamscapes" series. For more on that adaptation, check this out.

Connections: "Jerusalem's Lot" and "One for the Road" are about that small town in Maine that gets taken over by vampires. "The Last Rung on the Ladder" features a much younger version of a saintly old woman from The Stand. Speaking of that upcoming behemoth, "Night Surf" is its precursor.

Our fourth book in the Constant Reading Project is Night Shift, and it's the first collection of King's short stories, many of which were published in men's magazines in the early 1970s. These are the grisly tales of ne'er-do-wells that would have been right at home in the pulp mags of the 1920s and '30s, only much more graphic, such as "Battleground" and "Quitters, Inc." There are also more sentimental pieces such as "The Last Rung on the Ladder" and "The Woman in the Room."

King was young and desperate when these stories were written, so it's a great point of comparison to how his works matures over time but stays much the same.

With all that said, time's a-wasting, back to reading.

Constant Reading Project: Shine On

2012-01-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

The Shining is one of the books that people instantly come up with when they think of Stephen King. Even my mother-in-law read it when it was a new release at the library (and always makes sure the shower curtain is pulled back in the bathroom).

There are very good reasons for this.

Story and characters drive King's best work and serve each other. At the top of his game, every King character matters to what is happening. There are no throw away extras. When this happens, every action and every word from a character moves the story forward. Every little detail matters. This is how King can give us a satisfying novel with only three main characters as well as the later books in which it seems characters just fall out of his ass.

King is a master of the set-up, too. Sometimes, he's so good at setting things up that the conclusions can feel rushed. In The Shining, King spends about 300 pages making sure every little thing is in place before rushing to the explosive (ha ha) end. One of the reasons this can happen is that the characters take over, living their lives and doing whatever it is they do until it's time to finish the darn thing off. The Shining easily could have become a bloated novel filled with more backstory into the Overlook Hotel instead of just the glimpses King gives us. Everyone one of the ghosts in the hotel has their own tale. The Torrances weren't the first family to spend the winter up there. King could have done an entire chapter or more on Delbert Grady and his shotgunned twin girls. Rather, King uses the past to inform the present of the story he does tell.

The Shining, particularly when paired with its predecessor 'Salem's Lot, shows us that King was still still working his influences out in his work. While the vampire novel has roots in Dracula, The Shining frequently references Edgar Allan Poe and "The Masque of the Red Death," specifically. Nineteenth century allusions aside, King is 100 percent a 20th Century American author. The haunted hotel story feels uniquely American. The Brits have their haunted castles, we have spectres roaming motor courts. In other words, it's the perfect venue for King's early style.

Another note before moving on: We all know that Jack Nicholson went stark raving mad in the 1980 film based on this book. But look at that picture above, the one of the original dust jacket. Is it just me or does that dude look like Warren Beatty?

Anyway, The Shining is read, bringing our total page count so far to 1,216. Next up is the first of King's short story collections, Night Shift.

Getting screwed by the King

2011-12-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

True confessions: I read the last chapters of books. No, I don't necessarily read them first and I don't do it because I have some weird Harry Burns-esque thing about knowing what happens in case I die in the middle. I read the end because otherwise I will read books too quickly and miss something. Also, I have kind of high anxiety and knowing who dies/lives/etc. eases it. I also like to have TJ tell me who is going to live while watching scary movies. I would say that it actually enhances my enjoyment.

I started reading "Bag of Bones" in November on the recommendation of Warning Signs founder (spouse) TJ. It's only my third Stephen King book — I recently conquered Carrie and earlier this year read the "Just Before Sunset" short story collection. If you include the movie adaptations I've seen ("Shawshank," "Green Mile" and "The Shining"), I'm familiar with six King titles.

I fell in love with this book right away. I love the main character's sadness. But as I got deeper in, I began to have a realization. I wasn't going to be able to flip forward and read the end of this story. My bookmark was frozen in place as things suddenly became clear:

Stephen King was going to totally fuck me.

A few days after starting it, I sat in the kitchen with TJ, lamenting that I wasn't gong to be able to watch the new miniseries with him and warning him against telling me anything about the story. He was impressed by what he assumed was my newfound restraint and desire to be surprised.

"Oh, no. That's not it." I said. "I just know that he's about to totally screw me, and I just don't want to know ahead of time that it's coming. I just don't think I could do it."

As a lifelong King fan, Teej just laughed and said, "Yeah, well, you've pretty much got him figured out."

Last night I was up until after midnight reading. I'm maybe 2/3 of the way through "Bag of Bones" now, and things are looking rosy. But I've got too much book left to read for it to stay that way. So I finally did it — I flipped forward and read the epilogue.

And yep, I'm screwed. There's some huge twist that I — more than halfway finished with a novel — still don't see coming. Characters I like are toast. Things I don't want to happen will happen. There's a soft, kind of heartwarming ending, but it's bittersweet.

And you've got to wonder: Why do people keep reading this author? Why do we, collectively, year after year, approach the "New releases" section of our favorite bookstore, drop trow, bend over and let this guy just go to town on our literary expectations?

I guess it's because of the sadness that I fell in love with on page 1. Or maybe it's just the hope that some day, some how, someone is going to make it to the end and not get hit by a bus. Or possessed. Or shot in the head. Or whatever. Deep down, I believe Stephen King wants good things to happen to good people. For justice to be served. For happily ever after to come true.

And if not — at least the man can tell a good story. And if you're going to get fucked by an author, at least it'll be by one who lubes you up real good first.

Constant Reading Project: The Shining

2011-12-19T15:21:00.000-08:00

After a brief delay due to actually having the book in question, the Constant Reading Project resumes with The Shining.

Release: January 1977
Pages: 447 (I will be reading a book club edition, so this page count will be what I actually read).
Screen adaptations: 1980, directed by Stanley Kubrick; 1997, directed by Mick Garris (TV).
Connections to other works: quite few, but none that really affect any of the other stories that reference this book.

The Shining, mostly due to its film success, is one of the most parodied of King's work. Any shot of creepy twins at the end of a hallway, crazy person busting through a door a spouting a one-liner, or mention of how all work and no play makes someone crazy are all owed to this book.

Constant Reading Project: what's at stake here?

2011-12-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

I've been told not to get too cocky about this project. Yes, I have averaged 110 pages in the first week, but there's a long way to go still. I'll try to stay humble.

I finished 'Salem's Lot last night. The version I read had 479 pages. In other words, the two books I've read so far combined have fewer pages than the first version of The Stand (still two books away).

'Salem's Lot has three of the scariest scenes ever written in American English. That's not hyperbole, either. Mark Petrie's first encounter with a vampire, Ben Mears and Dr. Jimmy Cody waiting to see if a recently deceased resident really is dead and Dr. Cody's grisly demise are pure nightmare fodder. (On a side note, only the scene of Mark fending off a vampire has been well-portrayed in either of the TV adaptations. Cody's death, particularly, hasn't been as well-translated as I'd hope. It's just one of those things that will always be worse in my head than can ever be on film.)

This is also the book that I would say established King's voice. As previously discusses, Carrie relies too much on "outside sources" to tell its story. 'Salem's Lot, on the other hand, has a large cast, some of whom never interact with each other; the classic small town setting; the length to let characters and the story develop; and a quick ending.

Have you ever noticed that? How sometimes King's books build up to a huge climax and are then just over? Sure, there's usually some denouement, some resolution. In 'Salem's Lot, as in much of King's work, the resolution is that bad shit is still out there and needs to be dealt with.

When I was a young teenager, this was one of the first King books I read. It's stuck with me and is among the first that I recommend for anyone wanting a good scare. For me, it's certainly the best vampire book of the 20th century.

Up next: The Shining.

Win stuff from me

2011-12-12T16:48:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, I point you, dear readers, to contests on other sites. Now it is time for Warning Signs to hold contest of its own. This is the Constant Reading Project contest.

HOW TO ENTER:
There are three ways to enter this contest.
1. Like our Facebook page.
2. Follow us on Twitter @Warning_Signs31.
3. Leave a comment on a post (this is mostly for those of you who have already done the first two).

When doing one (or all) of these three things, leave the following message:
I HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HOW TO WIN:
On New Year's Eve (Dec. 31, 2011), I will randomly select at least four winners for the following prizes:
1. 1985 first printing Signet edition (paperback) of "Thinner."
2. 1986 ninth printing Signet edition (paperback) of "The Bachman Books," which includes the now out of print novel "Rage."
3. 1997 first printing Signet edition (paperback) of "Desperation."
4. 1988 first edition (hardback) of "Prime Evil," the classic short story anthology which includes Stephen King's "The Night Flier" and other stories by Clive Barker, David Morrell, Ramsey Campbell, and Peter Straub. The dust jacket is a bit beat up, but this is still a great book to have.

I might add more prizes as the Constant Reading Project continues throughout the year. Keep your eyes peeled.

Are aliens the new zombies?

2011-12-11T19:05:00.001-08:00

It's been well-established that everyone's favorite zombie-movie maker George A. Romero used the living dead as a way to rail on whatever he thought was wrong with society, i.e. war, consumerism, etc. The zombie-as-blank-cultural-canvas theories are every where.

And we're reaching new heights in zombie popularity these days — a planned "World War Z" movie, The Walking Dead on A&E, zombie walks globally fighting for a spot in the record books (OK, seriously, the existence of zombie walks at all), entire conventions devoted to zombie culture (which Warning Signs attended, of course). But as the living impaired become even hipper, are we reaching the peak of zombie-oversaturation? And what do we do if we lose our blank canvas on which we project all of our cultural insecurities?

The answer, of course, is get a new one. And in fad-happy Hollywood, that's pretty easy to do. But can zombies, which have held our hearts for so many decades, be replaced by something as cheap, as flimsy as, say, aliens?

We may find out. In 2011 and 2012, at least 28 movies (by one count) are hitting theaters about space invaders, including of course "The Thing" and "Super 8." But there was also "I Am Number 4," "Paul," "Cowboys & Aliens," "Battle: Los Angeles," "The Darkest Hour," "Mars Needs Moms," etc., etc., etc. And let's not forget everyone's favorite Alien hard-on, "Avatar." (Editor's note: "Prometheus," the prequel to Ridley Scott's "Alien" is also due next year. Yes, I'm excited.)

But we all know Hollywood is never on the cutting edge of anything, and the growing trend of alien movies may be built somewhat on the success of 2009's "District 9."

Before you balk at the very suggestion of using aliens as a way to express artistic, cultural disgust, consider:

• Both zombies and aliens are creatures we know little about. Generally, the story is told from the "human" perspective, as populations struggle to survive against a perceived deadly invader.

• We know little about them. Sometimes, we don't know what created zombies or how to stop them. Sometimes, we don't know where or why the aliens came from. Neither speaks our language. Their motives are often unknown, and are therefore threatening.

• We want to understand them — both are subject to dissection and probing, if caught.

• The thing that's scary about zombies is that they used to be human — That's your mom, or your sister, or your boyfriend under that flesh-eating face. The scary thing (often) about aliens is that they want to be human. In "Alien," "Thing," etc., we see the take over human bodies in order for the host to accomplish their goals. They are after our resources or our planet or our selves ... we think.

"District 9" is a great example of using a similar project-culture pattern as Romero's zombies. There's a cultural we don't understand that we're at war with for reasons no one quite gets. But no, they aren't terrorists — they're aliens.

It's not a perfect 1-to-1 from space invaders to zombies, but it's worth looking at. As our globe becomes increasingly united even as America becomes increasing segmented, are alien invaders a better metaphor for our cultural climate? Is an active, hostile invader more reflective of Occupy than a mindless flesh-eater? Certainly, they could do more damage — control and rule us rather than just making us one of them.

And in America, isn't the fear of being dominated what rules us all?

The true horror of "Carrie"

2011-12-11T17:35:00.001-08:00

Until I married Warning Signs founder TJ, I hadn't ever read any Stephen King books. It's not an opposites-attract relationship, as I'm a mild horror fan, but I always went more toward a bit more of the bad romance horror (Tami Hoag) and vampire movies. Beyond "Shawshank Redemption," I had no experience with King.

I'm taking his Constant Reading Project as a chance to get caught up. I read "Carrie" before he did this time, finishing it in two days. It would have been one, and about four hours, but I would have been up until about 4 a.m. and really regretted it at work the next day.

I think for his first published work, King had an easy subject — teenage girls are pure evil and require very little literary license.

Carrie is the star, the hero, the winner in this tale. No one is voting for the girl who leads the charge in making sure Carrie learns her place and stays in it, or even for the one working to help Carrie finally rise above her circumstances. You want Carrie to win (and TJ's right — you want Tommy Ross to win, too). Even if that means the entire town goes down for her to do it.

Here's an awful truth, for all of you who were never teenage girls: The crap that happens in "Carrie" really happens. "Mean Girls"? Yep. Hell, even "Cruel Intentions" is pretty much spot-on. In "Carrie," King vocalized what women everywhere already knew was happening. And then male directors said, "Hey! We can make money of this stuff!" and every plot for every teen movie (regardless of genre) was born. You've seen the idea of dumping something on the unpopular girl who unexpectedly won Prom Queen a million times.

As someone who survived high school hell, I can tell you the horror of "Carrie" is not her telekinetic abilities. It's not her cruel, uber-religious mother who locks her closets and thinks menstruation is evil.

The horror of "Carrie" is that a story that rang true in 1974 (and you know it did, because King's wife helped him out with the details of life as high school girl) rings true today. The horror is in the pure unadulterated evil that women are capable of unleashing on each other, sans supernatural abilities.

Every high school, every graduating class from the beginning of time has a Carrie. You know who she is, she's been that way since grade school and her efforts to change will be ridiculed until she manages to break free of our ridiculous educational-caste system. IF she manages to break free. Social media-induced suicide is a real and frightening phenomena in our society today.

Boys bring in guns to school. Girls pray they can develop telekinetic ability.

The horror in Carrie isn't the death and destruction of an entire town. The horror is an entire town let this girl's life go by unnoticed for 17 years. And then blamed her for her problems.

Constant Reading Project: songs about 'Salem's Lot

2011-12-11T16:33:00.001-08:00

Finding clips of the two 'Salem's Lot TV adaptations is pretty easy. Performing that search leads to some interesting results.

The above is from the band Dead Can Dance. Very cool group, if melodic goth is your thing (and it has been mine, quite often.) The song is called " 'Salem's Lot," even though there isn't anything directly implying a link between the novel and the song. Who cares? It's a creepy ass song.

Pimpin' ain't easy

2011-12-10T15:15:00.001-08:00

I'd like to take just a moment to direct your attention to a few other sources of horrific delight, if you'll indulge me. There are a lot of folks with just as much (and maybe more) love for all things scary as I have and I think you should know about them.

1. Spooky Sean
Spooky Sean is a Massachusetts-based horror writer and blogger. If you are in the mood for a ripping serial killer story or a great review of an obscure horror flick, check him out.

2. Dark Bits
Howard Hopkins is one of those writers who lives in Maine but isn't Stephen King. Visiting his blog will go you some insights into the mind of a working fictionist as well as bits of his ongoing tale "The Chloe Files."

3. Final Girl
Stacie Ponder runs Final Girl. Loving horror is not "just a guy thing" and Ponder is one of the better women horror bloggers (and blogger in general, just so you know) out there.

4. Talk Stephen King
A blog devoted to my favorite author, David Squyers's Talk Stephen King is an intense look at the Man from Maine. What pleases me the most is that the blog focuses on the work (and adaptations) of King. The posts on "IT" are well worth your time.

5. The Single Bullet Theory
No, it's not a JFK assassination conspiracy blog. It's about zombies. Marshall Popham is my go-to guy for all things zombie. He should be yours, too. And I figure if I include him on this list, maybe he'll get his ass in gear and write more. I can say things like that because we're friends.

So there you go. Just some places to spend a little time if you get sick of reading me or just want a different take on things. And if you do visit, be sure to tell them Warning Signs sent you.

Constant Reading project, book two: 'Salem's Lot

2011-12-09T13:36:00.001-08:00

Stephen King's second published novel is the vampire classic 'Salem's Lot.

A small Maine town is taken over by vampires. An author and a young boy join forces to fight evil.

Published: Oct. 17, 1975.
Pages: 439 (I'll be reading the Illustrated Edition, for which the page count of the novel is 479).

Screen adaptations: 1979, directed by Tobe Hooper (TV); 2004, directed by Mikael Salomon.

Connections: Father Callahan gets a new life in the latter books of the Dark Tower series.

This is one of my favorite vampire novels, so reading it again will be a joy. At 77 pages a day, it should take me six days to finish it which means you'll hear more about it on Wednesday. It's a longer book, so I may make a few comments about it between now and then, possibly about the TV adaptations. We'll see.

Constant Reading Project: one down, 59 to go

2011-12-09T13:25:00.001-08:00

I finished "Carrie" late last night. The paperback copy I read had 290 pages (for those of you keeping count), instead of the first edition hardback's 253 pages. Sure, it throws off my numbers, but I'm technically ahead as far as time goes.

A few thoughts:

I still think Tommy Ross is an under appreciated character. You can read all about my man-love for him in a past post.

I have been to college and become a professional journalist since the last time I read "Carrie," so I'm a bit more judgmental about the newspaper clips used in the novel. About a third (if not more) of the book is told in after the fact newspaper reports, scholarly works and court testimony. This semi-epistolary style lengthened what would otherwise be a novella. Adding them gives the book a sense of realism that might have been lacking. It also firmly places the book five years into the future from when it was published.

"Carrie" remains a strong first published work and will always be a great place to start for the uninitiated reader. It's not King's best, but it certainly isn't the worst.

Now you are asking, "What is his best and worst?" Don't worry, we'll get to them all in good time.

Happy birthday, Rick Baker

2011-12-08T10:25:00.001-08:00

Birthday greetings go out to make-up wizard Rick Baker today. He's 61. If you don't know his work, the above is the greatest werewolf transformation EVER.

Constant Reading Project, book one: Carrie

2011-12-07T19:15:00.001-08:00

Stephen King's first published novel is "Carrie," the story of a high school girl who blossoms into a terrible power.

Stats:
Released: April 5, 1974
Pages: 253
Screen adaptations: 1976, directed by Brian De Palma; 2002, directed by David Carson (TV).

For an author we've come to know for churning out brick-sized novels, King's first published novel is relatively short. At 253 pages, it should only take a little over three days to finish is, if I maintain the 77-page a day pace required. This is a good chance to get ahead right from the get-go.

I don't remember the last time I read "Carrie," but I'm guessing it's been about 10 years. So this will be fun for all of us.

Constant reading Project begins NOW

2011-12-07T11:44:00.001-08:00

I've decided to get a jump on the Constant Reading Project. Instead of waiting for January 1, I'm starting today.

Before we get into the details of the first book, here's how this is going to work.

CONSTANT READING PROJECT

60 BOOKS
30,464 PAGES
394 DAYS (Dec. 7, 2011 to Dec. 31, 2012. 2012 IS A LEAP YEAR)
AVERAGE DAILY READING REQUIRED: 77 PAGES

NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS:

BOTH THE ORIGINAL AND UNCUT VERSIONS OF "THE STAND" WILL BE READ IN THEIR PROPER ORDER,

GRANTING I CAN FIND A COPY OF THE FIRST VERSION.

ONLY ONE VERSION OF "THE DARK TOWER: THE GUNSLINGER" WILL BE READ AS THE CHANGES AREN'T

DEEMED SIGNIFICANT ENOUGH TO READ BOTH.

"THE LONG WALK," "ROADWORK," "RAGE," AND "THE RUNNING MAN" WILL BE READ AS

"THE BACHMAN BOOKS" INSTEAD OF INDIVIDUALLY.

SPECIAL EDITIONS ("SALEM'S LOT" ILLUSTRATED, "BAG OF BONES" 10TH ANNIVERSARY, ETC.),

 WILL ONLY BE USED FOR CONVENIENCE.

I will start each book with a description of the book, including year of publication and number of pages.

I will also include information such as whether the book has been adapted to film ("Dollar babies" won't be listed.

There's too damn many of them.)

I will also mention any tie-in books, even some of the Dark Tower connections.

So check back later today for the opening salvo in Warning Signs Constant Reading Project.

A Bag of Bones contest

2011-11-28T17:29:00.001-08:00

I'm preparing my own contest to tie in with the upcoming "Bag of Bones" miniseries on A&E. Until then, try out this contest on the website ology.com.

The contest is fairly intense and perfect for those who believe themselves to be Stephen King's number one fan. I won't be entering, mostly because I already have a copy of the "Dark Score Stories" photo book (no, that be a prize in my contest, because I'm keeping mine). I will try my hand at the answers, though.

No, I won't help you. That wouldn't be fair. But you should enter the contest anyway.

Is Mexico City new zombie capital?

2011-11-26T17:31:00.001-08:00

The Associated Press is reporting that a zombie walk held in Mexico City may have had 9,860 registered zombies.

This would shatter the mark reached in July at Red, White and Dead, the annual zombie walk held in Seattle.

What particularly sucks is that the brief (which you can read here on the Washington Post website) makes no mention of Seattle's 2011 Guinness record of 4,522 registered zombies.

We'll keep you updated on whether this record (or an 8,000-zombie count for a walk in Brisbane, Australia) are made official.

Thanks for...

2011-11-24T15:09:00.001-08:00

Hello. It's me, your humble Warning Signs narrator.

Today in the U.S.A., it's Thanksgiving. A day when families and friends get together to eat food and share time with each other. It's a time for bonding over traditions.

I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has made Warning Signs a part of your lives. I'm always surprised and excited when I see how many of you have stopped by my dark little corner of the internet.

November has been a bit slower than October. I've been focusing more on writing my own fiction this month. (Will I share some of it? Perhaps.) There have been a few cool things come down the pipes.

Today, for example, I finally got my copy of "11/22/63," the newest Stephen King book. Once I finish it, I will begin the Constant Reading Project, in which I shall read every King book, in order, in a year.

While we're talking King, you may have noticed how excited about A&E's "Bag of Bones" adaptation I am. The folks who put together Dark Score Stories were kind enough to send me one of the books they made from the photos and essays on the site. Head to Lilja's Library and maybe you can win your own copy. The miniseries airs Dec. 11-12.

Since we went live on June 6, more than Warning Signs has been viewed more than 15,000 times. That's about 3,000 views a month. Wow. I thought I'd be lucky enough to get 300 a month.

My hat is off to you, Warning Signs reader. Thank You.

Super 8: home movies

2011-11-22T10:09:00.001-08:00

Remember back in the early days of Warning Signs, early summer, and we were just getting started?

Remember when I told you all to go see "Super 8" as soon as you could?

I'm sure some of you listened. If you didn't, or if you want to see it again, "Super 8" is available on DVD and Blu-ray today.

And if you can't remember how much I loved this movie, read this.

Making the rules

2011-11-21T19:47:00.001-08:00

Read this article from The Onion's AV Club.

This is a great take on my own personal format for writing. Rule number one is Establish the Status Quo. Whatever weird world you are creating, do so and stick to it.

Constant Reading

2011-11-13T19:49:00.001-08:00

Here's my plan: I am going to read every Stephen King novel and collection, in order, just to see how long it takes me. Below is the list, with publication year and page count.

By the time I get to the end, we'll have to add"The Wind Through the Keyhole" and "Dr. Sleep." I will add those page counts as they are made available. Now let's guess how long it'll take me to get through all of these books. I will let you know when I start.

Carrie (1974)		199
Salem’s Lot (1975)		439
The Shining (1977)		447
Night Shift (1978)		336
The Stand(1978)		823
The Dead Zone (1979)		428
Firestarter (1980)		426
Danse Macabre, non-fiction (1981)		400
Cujo (1981)		319
The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger (1982)		224
Different Seasons (1982 collection)		527
Christine (1983)		526
Pet Sematary (1983)		416
Cycle of the Warewolf (1983)		127
The Talisman (1984 with co-author Peter Straub)		646
Thinner (1984 as richard Bachman)		309
Skeleton Crew (1985 collection)		512
The Bachman Books (1985 collection)		692
IT (1986)		1142
The Eyes of the Dragon (1986)		326
The Dark Tower II: The Drawing of the Three (1987)		400
Misery (1987) 320		320
The Tommyknockers (1987) 558		558
The Dark Half (1989) 431		431
The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition (1990)		1152
Four Past Midnight (1990 collection)		763
The Dark Tower III: The Waste Lands (1991)		512
Needful Things (1991)		690
Gerald’s Game (1992)		352
Dolores Claiborne (1992)		305
Nightmares & Dreamscapes (1993 collection)		816
Insomnia (1994)		832
Rose Madder (1995)		432
The Green Mile (1996)		400
Desparation (1996)		704
The Regulators (1996 as Richard Bachman)		480
The Dark Tower IV: Wizard and Glass (1997)		787
Bag of Bones (1998)		529
Storm of the Century (1999 screenplay)		400
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon (1999)		224
Hearts in Atlantis (1999 collection)		528
On Writing, non-fiction (2000)		288

Dreamcatcher (2001)		620
Black House (2001 with co-author Peter Straub)		625
From a Buick 8 (2002)		368
Everything’s Eventual (2002 collection)		464
The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla (2003)		714
The Dark Tower VI: Song of Susannah (2004)		432
The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower (2004)		845
Faithful, non-fiction (2004)		432
The Colorado Kid (2005)		184
Cell (2006)		355
Lisey’s Story (2006)		528
Blaze (2007 as Richard Bachman)		304
Duma Key (2008)		611
Just After Sunset (2008 collection)		367
Under the Dome (2009)		1074
Blockade Billy (2010)		112
Full Dark, No Stars (2010 collection)		368
11/22/63 (2011)		864
	Total page count:	30434

Mount Bloodmore: The tops in American horror

2011-11-10T09:33:00.001-08:00

My wife and I having a running joke about Mount Rushmore. We used to live close to the monument, so every time it gets blown up in a movie, we laugh. We laugh every time we some parody of Rushmore, some silliness that can't be helped. The joke is that one could fill an entire ~~tourist trap~~ store with Mount Rushmore parodies.

I shall now give you my own version of Mount Rushmore: the four most important American horror writers. Remember, this is American writers. So no Bram Stoker, no Clive Barker. And it's horror, so while a writer such as Chuck Palahniuk has delved into horrors pages, he's not a horror writer. Primarily sci-fi guys like Isaac Asimov or fantastique authors such as Harlan Ellison aren't on the mountain, either. Ellison might classify for his own monument (like the Crazy Horse monument down the road from Rushmore), but he's not on this one.

Enough chatter, let's getting blasting the face of this screen into the faces of American horror.

Edgar Allan Poe (in the George Washington position). Was there any question? For American writers, Poe really got this ball rolling. The only writing he never succeeded at was the novel, but in the first half of the 19th century, novels were not yet the dominant form. Short stories and poetry were still at the head of the class and that was Poe's playground. He's the father, the general (hey, he DID go to West Point, you know), he's the legend.

H.P. Lovecraft (in the Thomas Jefferson position). Again, too obvious? Too bad. Lovecraft is one of the best examples of knowing your influences (Poe) and setting them aside to do your own thing. If there is anyone in American horror who even came close to Poe's influence, it's Lovecraft. Lovecraft even has his own adjective. If a work contains hints of dark, unearthly forces seeking to regain power on Earth, it's "Lovecraftian." If Poe is the grandfather, Lovecraft is the rebellious son who couldn't help but follow in his father's footsteps.

Ray Bradbury (in the Theodore Roosevelt position). Like Roosevelt, Bradbury is our curveball on the mountain. Yes, he's great and everyone knows it. But is he really in the company of the other four men on the monument? Um, YES. For a time, he was the genre and yet transcended it. "Ray Bradbury Theatre" was (almost) as good as "The Twilight Zone." (And if you ask me now why Rod Serling isn't on the mountain, it's because he worked primarily in television and this is a monument for folks whose notable works were in print media.) Bradbury also reclaimed horror as literature. You are just as likely to read "Dandelion Wine" in school as you are "1984."

Stephen King (in the Abraham Lincoln position). King is the emancipator of horror fiction. Millions of people who would have never touched the genre read King's work. The last stat I saw said he has 350 million books in print. They don't print books (especially now) that they don't think they can sell. The other three men on this list can all be found in King's work and that's how things should be. You learn from the masters and then make your own way. King not only set readers free from the bonds of genre limitations, he set a world of writers free to believe they, too, could make money in the horror genre. There are a lot of wanna-be Kings in the world and most of them aren't any good. But you can't fault anyone for trying. Maybe King's promises of a better world where genre fiction and literary fiction are indistinguishable will never happen. But we can dream. Hell, King even gave us horror's Gettysburg Address when he was presented with the National Book Awards Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters.

So there you go. The Mount Rushmore of American horror. Somebody draw this up for me. It could make a great (or horrible) tattoo.

Read some Dark Score stories

2011-11-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

The new Stephen King book, "11/22/63" was released yesterday. I haven't bought it yet. I'm waiting to hear from a couple contests to see if I won a copy. Plus I'm broke-ass this week.

The good news is that I, and therefore you, can still get a King fix somewhere else.

Dark Score Stories is the promotional site A&E has put together for its adaptation of "Bag of Bones." Not only is it a well-designed site, it's a treasure trove for long-time fans. See how many references to other works you can pick out.

Trust me, there are a lot. One can hope that the miniseries is as devoted to King and his material as this promo site is. I'll settle for being a faithful adaptation.

"Famous for Dying": random inbox goodies

2011-11-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Warning Signs is popular enough now (thanks to you, readers), that we now get random goodies in our inbox.

The above music video, "Famous for Dying" by The Active Set, is just an example.

It has zombies eating a band. The song isn't bad, either. (Warning: bad critic cliche ahead.) It's what I think Kenny Loggins and Joy Division would sound like together. Seriously, the opening few notes are totally "Footloose" (not the 2011 version, either. Straight up 1980s) and the drone is right out of British post-punk/pre-New Wave awesomeness. Lyrically, well, that's a treat and helps the zombie attack make more sense.

Enjoy!

364!

2011-11-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

Halloween has come and gone. If you are one of those people who only lets your freak flag fly but once a year, fine. We'll see you next October. For Warning Signs, turning the page on the calendar does not mean the end of scares. November should be a great month, too. The new Stephen King novel "11/22/63" comes out this month and you can bet We'll get it and read it as fast as possible. We'll also be looking forward to the holiday season and all the frightful fun that comes with that. ("A Christmas Story" is not a horror film, even though Bob Clark, director of "Black Christmas" made it. It might be one of the scariest non-horror movies around.)During the month, your humble narrator will be attempting National Novel Writing Month. The goal of NaNoWriMo is put 50,000 words on the page in 30 days. If you, too, are getting involved, let us know. If you are writing a horror novel, we just might highlight your efforts.Thanks for a great October. Let's finish 2011 strong.

A Devil's Night Greeting Card

2011-10-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

I saw "The Crow" on a thunderous night in May, 1994. I can honestly say the movie changed my life. Yes, I was a horror fan before that, I had my Stephen King books and was experiencing Anne Rice. I knew about The Cure and Nine Inch Nails, but I had no idea who Joy Division were before I saw "The Crow."

No, "The Crow" is not a horror movie, in the common parlance, but there are significant horror tropes in the film. A dude comes back from the dead on the night before Halloween to seek vengeance for the murders of himself and his fiance. He quotes Poe and hangs out with a crow. (The bird in the film is actually a raven because crows aren't that big.)

"The Crow" is also rather violent. It's an action movie, a comic book movie. (If you've never read the original graphic novel, shame on you.)

What's horrifying in the film and book is not the violence. Yes, it's bloody and led to the death of star Brandon Lee. What's truly gut-wrenching is the raw emotion packed into every page and every frame. "The Crow" is one man's lament for lost loves torn away from this mortal coil.

"The Crow" is a love story. How in love would you have to be to come back from the dead and wipe out the people who made your true love suffer? Eric (no last name in the book) suffers not only from being apart from his fiance but also from remembering how they both died. It's the knowledge of her pain that drives him insane.

Yes, "The Crow" is best known for being the movie that Brandon Lee died during the filming of. Maybe it would not have become such a subcultural juggernaut if he had not passed away. He did, so we'll never know. What I do know is that "The Crow" is very special to me. Maybe it is to you, too.

If so, I wish you a safe Devil's Night and a Happy Halloween. And for anyone who has lost a loved one, it can't rain all the time.

Scary song of the week: Dead Man's Party

2011-10-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Danny Elfman has pretty much done the soundtrack for Halloween. He wrote all the songs for "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and maybe that was the first time you heard one of his songs. If that's true, I give you "Dead Man's Party" as the Scary Song of the Week.

Elfman and his Oingo Boingo bandmates crafted this gem that has become a staple of Halloween playlists. It's not specifically a Halloween song, but the idea of going to a party full of ghosts and dead bodies definitely fits the parameters of the holiday.

Oingo Boingo played their last show at the Universal Amphitheatre in Irvine, California on Oct. 31, 1995. I turned 16 that day. The band made a live album of that concert which gets heavy rotation from me.

For those of you still stuck on "Nightmare Before Christmas," you may want to check out the following Oingo Boingo song.

Yep, that's what a tender lumpling is.

Me like hockey

2011-10-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

Sports and horror might not go together in the minds of many people. But I'm a well-rounded guy. I love baseball and NASCAR. Other than professional wrestling, hockey is probably the sport that most resembles my love of horror.

My favorite NHL team is the New Jersey Devils. Despite how awful my wife thinks it is, I still wear a Devils jersey I bought in 1995. The good news is that thanks to watching games with our (formerly) local minor league team, my wife likes hockey, too. She probably wouldn't sit and watch a game on TV, but we had tickets to a game, she'd go.

This is a horror blog, not a sports blog, but I'd like to offer you this link to a Sports Illustrated photo gallery featuring the scariest goalie masks. Jason Voorhees would be proud, especially of the 14th and 30th photos in the gallery.

Print is Undead

2011-10-26T22:11:00.001-07:00

Zombies rose up again in Seattle. And this time, your humble narrator was able to report it in print.

If you get the Yakima Herald-Republic, you'll get to read it tomorrow. If you don't, check it out here.

Paranormal Activity 3: the long road home

2011-10-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

First of all, there is nothing in the released trailers that will give anything away about "Paranormal Activity 3," the latest (and likely last) installment of the best ghost story trilogy ... ever. Yes, I said ever, because "Poltergiest III" sucks.

PA3 follows the exact same formula as the first two. It's a prequel to PA2, which was itself a prequel to PA1. Confused? Don't worry about it. All three movies are about sisters Katie and Kristy and the men who just can't help but film them. Thankfully not in a creepy way, but PA3 certainly reveals potential daddy issues the sisters exhibited in the other two films. What's important is that even though all three movies follow the same essential plot, it still works. It's like visiting the same haunted house year after year. You know exactly where to step and have a pretty good idea about when the scares will come. The difference is that someone new is in charge every time, with new actors and different experiences. So it's the same, but just different enough to be worth the price of admission.

PA3, like its forebears, is genuinely scary. The film sets you up and knocks you down like one of those clown-shaped punching bags. When you think you are safe, tucked in bed in your own suburban home, the demented clown springs back and punches you in the gut again.

One of PA3's biggest strengths is in the false scare. By having characters try to creep other characters out, one can never be sure exactly what is real. The film style-- PA3 is set in 1988 so it's all supposed to be VHS--causes you to see things that aren't there and not believe you saw things that were there.

Sadly, nothing is perfect. The inherent flaw of this type of prequel is in explaining away the terror. While a reason for what happens to Katie and Kristy is revealed (no, I'm not going to tell you. Go see the damn movie), the deeper why and how remains a mystery. I'm sure there was pressure to give the audience some explanation, finally, but it takes away just a little piece of the horror of the situation.

Then again, maybe they have another movie up their sleeves. It'd have to be a sequel to the prequel, perhaps covering the sisters' teen years.

Teen girls. Now that's frightening.

Overall, PA3 hasn't lost any of the shine of the first two films. If this truly is the end, it's a hell of a finish. Paranormal Activity also batted a perfect three for three in me seeing someone leave the theater crying. They don't put that in the trailers, but maybe they should.

Threat level: RED. Yes, it's formulaic, but there's not a damn thing wrong with this formula. (For an explanation of our ratings, visit the Warning System page.)

Is it a problem for you to ask?

2011-10-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

This is artist Nat Jones and writer/filmmaker Jovanka Vuckovic. Vuckovic spoke about making her first short film, "The Captured Bird." The panel was just as much about how to get a movie off the ground as it was about the movie.

We'll talk more about it later. What you need to know now is that if you have a dream, you can make it happen. If you are ready to make it happen, don't be afraid to ask the people you know for help. Vuckovic asked Jones to do some conceptual art for her movie before she even started looking for financing. She credited the artwork for securing a $20,000 grant from a Canadian TV station. She raised the rest of the money needed through crowd sourcing. (We'll definitely talk more about this.)

This:

is Marshall Popham. Sorry for the poor quality of the photo. This was the last picture I took on Saturday before all my batteries went dry.

Marshall is the senior editor of ZomBcon International. If you visit the ZomBcon website, most of the stuff you'll read there is his work. He's pretty much responsible for me making it to ZomBcon. During her panel, Vuckovic said one of the most difficult aspects of crowd sourcing is following through with the incentives you offered. In other words, it takes time to say thank you.

So even though I give Marshall a lot of hell, I owe him. Thanks, dude.

Dawn of Day 2, ZomBcon 2011

2011-10-22T09:05:00.000-07:00

In about an hour and half, a number of actors will join for a panel on what it is like for an actor to work with George Romero. Don't you wish you were at ZomBcon 2011?

There are a couple of panels I am really looking forward to today such as "A Brave New World: Women in Horror Talk the Apocalypse." Ask my wife, I'm totally a third-wave feminist. The women on the panel, including Jovanka Vuckovic, will talk about the expanding and changing roles of women in horror journalism, literature and film making.

Later, Vuckovic wil be talking about the short film she's making called "The Captured Bird." She told me it's been her own version of film school and I am very excited to hear her talk about it for an hour. I'm such a nerd.

There are also panels on "The Walking Dead" and one with special effects icon Tom Savini.

If you are coming, check out the schedule at the ZomBcon website.

If you are here, say hello!

ZomBcon, Friday

2011-10-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

Day one of ZomBcon 2011 is done, at least for your humble (and tired) narrator. Without getting too deeply into the meat of the day, let's look at a few pictures, shall we?

The morning started with a screening of "Night of the Living Dead." Judith O'Dea, who played Barbara in the George A. Romero film, then spoke about her experience working on it.

O'Dea has a firm grasp on what she did in the film, although she said she did not realize how important it was while filming.

"She (Barbara) doesn't scream like you say a Scream Queen screams," O'Dea said of the moment she finally fights back. "She yells."

In my favorite panel of the day, Fangoria editor-in-chief Chris Alexander was joined by some of his writers to discuss the current state of the big dog in horror journalism.

A lengthier analysis of this panel will come later. Two things to point out now: Alexander and his writers all agreed that if one wants to successfully write about horror films, one must have an appreciation for cinema beyond the genre and that all of the writers on the panel have interests outside of journalism and horror.

And yes, Mr. Alexander, you can expect my pitch soon.

Finally, for tonight, a photo of your humble narrator (I'm the chunky fellow sporting the New Jersey Devils gear) and Jovanka Vuckovic, former editor of Rue Morgue, author of "Zombies! An Illustrated History of the Undead." We had a great chat at her booth in the artists' alley. She's on three panels I am looking forward to: one on women in horror, one on the evolution of horror journalism and one on her own short film "The Captured Bird."

There will be more from today later. And there's still two days of fun left. Keep following as I flood Twitter with posts. And if you are at ZomBcon and you see me, say hello.

Start the day off NIGHT

2011-10-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

It's the official Day One of ZomBcon 2011. I've been awake since about 5:30 this morning, full of anticipation.

Last night was great. The Welcome tot he Apocalypse party was a fun time to mingle with some of the guests. Met John Amplas, star of George Romero's "Martin" and Michael Gornick, director and cinematographer. Complete gentlemen. The two joined for a panel later in the evening to discuss "Martin." (Full report to follow and watch the ZomBcon site for footage of the panel.)

Also witnessed Bill Moseley and Tom Savini just hanging out, shooting the breeze.

This morning, on my way to the convention site at the SeaTac Hilton, I walked by Jovanka Vucovick and felt like a total nerd for recognizing her. It was early, so I didn't say anything. There will be plenty of time to make a fool of myself.

In the meantime, "Paranormal Activity 3" opens tonight. You should go. I'll be busy and will catch it later.

I will also catch you later, when I have a better wi-fi signal. Plenty of photos will be yours, if you are patient.

Stay Scared,
T.J.

Scary (silly) song of the week: Special edition

2011-10-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

The best part about Halloween is always the holiday specials. And when you don't have cable, you are forced to buy them all on DVD. But the best part about that is that you don't have to wait until Halloween rolls around again to watch them.

So it's been Halloween special month in our house. We've already burned through "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," "Casper," and "The Nightmare Before Christmas." Today I made the collection complete by picking up "Hocus Pocus" at Target for $10.

Now, this 1993 Disney spook-special is not scary, by any stretch. It's pretty ridiculous, really, with one of those nice feel good endings. But it also has some seriously under appreciated scenes. Starring Bette Midler, Sara Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy, it was also one of the first big roles for Thora Birch, who went on to thrill us all as kind of a skank in "American Beauty."

I have a theory that Bette Midler has it written into her contract that she gets to sing in every movie she's in: Have you seen "The First Wives Club"? What is the point of the "You Don't Own Me" sequence if not just to showcase her voice? And as long as she's not singing "Wind beneath my wings," it's just fine.

So tonight I give you this clip from "Hocus Pocus," my favorite Halloween special. And, this is just a great Halloween song. If you're partying it up this year, make sure to put it in your playlist so people can get their boogie on.

ZomBcon checklist

2011-10-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

In about 48 hours, I will be pulling into Seattle for ZomBcon. One priority has been packing correctly. Here's a sample of what I will be bringing with me.

The Walking Dead: Days Gone By
The Walking Dead, Season 1
'68, issue 1 (second printing)
Repo! The Genetic Opera
House of 1000 Corpses
The Devil's Rejects
Martin
Zombi
Dawn of the Dead
Day of the Dead
Land of the Dead
Boondock Saints
2010 ZomBcon T-shirt (no, I wasn't there. It was a gift.)
The Devil's Rejects mug shot T-shirt
Captain Spaulding for President T-shirt
Recent copy of Fangoria
Fangoria belt buckle
Old copy of Rue Morgue

I'll probably end up with even more stuff to bring home. I really need to get a copy of guest Jovanka Vuckovic's book on zombie culture. And more comic books.

How about you? What are you taking?

The Thing: Aaah! Monsters!

2011-10-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

You know what's been missing from cinemas lately? A good, old-fashioned monster movie. If you feel the same way, I have news for you.

"The Thing," a prequel to John Carpenter's 1982 masterpiece, is a pure, bad ass monster movie. And not much else. But seriously, sometimes you have to take what you can get.

Carpenter's film is all about paranoia. Who do you trust when you can't trust anyone? The prequel reaches for that same level of paranoia and while there are some tense moments as the crew of Norwegian scientists disagree with the American paleontologist interloper (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), it never quite makes it.

Part of the problem, of course, is that it's a prequel. We basically know how it ends. I'm giving nothing away when I say it ends with a Norwegian helicopter chasing a dog. If you've seen Carpenter's film, you know that's how his movie starts. The point of the prequel finding out what happened to the rest of the Norwegians.

Unfortunately, none of the characters make us care about them in the ways the (all male) cast of the 1982 film do. Yes, there is a wanna-be McCready (Kurt Russell's character in the Carpenter flick) and everybody in the new movie looks like Richard Mazur does in the '82 movie (lots of big, bushy beards). There's even a token black guy.

The film does get a bit ridiculous toward the end. Just about everybody is dead and there's a weird "digital" column inside a spaceship that looks like an Atari took a crap and tried to piece the crap back together. Much like the need for a prequel, going to the spaceship just seemed unnecessary.

That's enough negativity for now. If you can get passed all that, you should go see "The Thing" because the monsters are awesome.

No, they aren't Rick Bottin practical effects, but holy shit, they're scary. There are shots of the alien creature without a human host and while it's never a full on shot of the creature on its own, what we are given is pretty sweet. And when "humans" get all Thing-y, it's a sight to behold. The creature designers took the best of the ideas from Carpenter's movie and ran with them. Stretched necks, open, hungry mouths and --yes-- stomachs that'll rip your arms off all get star treatment in this movie.

Without giving away who turns into it or how, there's a two-headed creature that is just about the nastiest and coolest movie monster I've seen in some time. I'm sure images of it will be all over the internet soon, but you won't get them from me.

"The Thing" is far from a perfect film. Yes, it lacks substance and character development. Yes, it's completely unnecessary. But it's hard to turn away from such great looking creatures.

Threat level: YELLOW. This was a tough rating for me. I want to rate it higher because we don't get very many kick ass monsters anymore, but I'd really like someone to come up with a new, but just as cool, set of creatures. (For an explanation of our ratings, visit the Warning System page.)

"The Thing" is rated R and stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead and a bunch of Scandinavians. Directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr from a screenplay by Eric Heisserer. Now in theaters.

First look: Bag of Bones

2011-10-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

Will I have cable in December so that I can watch "Bag of Bones," the A&E miniseries based on my favorite Stephen King book? Probably not. But here is the first footage from the miniseries, starring Pierce Brosnan.

Looks pretty good to me.

"Contagion" a joy of paranoid delusions

2011-10-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

A recent rain-soaked weekend saw TJ and I in the theater, plopping down matinee prices to see Matt Damon, Kate Winslet and Jude Law worry their way through 106 minutes of pandemic in "Contagion."

If you haven't bothered to see it yet, here are the basics: Unknown disease starts popping up all over the globe, killing people at an obscene rate, leaving the CDC and WHO dumbfounded as to how to stop it. It lacks the climatic tipping point of other disease-thrillers, instead choosing a deliberate, slow swell to the credits. It's not a fast-paced movie, but the trio of plot lines keeps things interesting. It's "Outbreak," but it's missing Cuba. And the monkeys.

This movie is not about how the virus was created, how it's going to be cured or individual stories of heroism and virtue. You get the impression the filmmakers didn't care much about that. There are a lot of characters who aren't fully explained and a lot of plot twists that are left untwisted.

As blogger Alan Krumwiede, Jude Law is the (incredibly annoying, pompous and arrogant) "voice of truth" to the people. Krumwiede is the one who sees it all coming.

The character is your classic conspiracy theorist (the kind that makes post about government efforts to create a race of zombie caterpillars popular). He spends the first portion of the film accusing the government of withholding the cure — saying they know exactly what the disease is, exactly how to fix it, but won't because they have to a) Protect some sort of biological warfare (wrong movie, dude). or b) Just don't feel like it. He says he has the super special cure — Forsythia, a compound that is often mentioned but never explained.

As scientists move to find a cure and create a vaccine, Krumwiede's call changes. Now, the government is rushing things. Injecting people with a vaccine that could cause cancer in 10 years. They are moving too quickly, putting the world's health at risk, working to promote special interests, save their friends first and bolster the bottom line of the pharmaceutical company.

Krumwiede — along with many independent,"truth-seeking" bloggers — is a shepherd boy, crying wolf into the night.

Driven only by the push for growing his "12 million individual page views," and his pocketbook, Krumwiede calls foul at everything. How can you accuse the government of withholding treatment and then be angry when treatment is given? Are there risks associated with a new vaccine that we won't know for decades? Absolutely. But he'd be bitching and moaning should the government allow millions more to die while they do clinical trials.

In bed with the Forsythia folks, Krumwiede's bottom line grows, he helps incite panic and mistrust and his own cocky sense of self swells to irritating heights.

Conspiracy theorists fall prey to the psychological concept of confirmation bias. In layman's terms, Krumwiede has a set of beliefs about the world, and based on that set he sees proof everywhere he goes. He sees what he wants to see — that which upholds his world view. Democrats, Republicans and conservative religious folk often do the same. And it never matters how many other contradicting facts there are.

Are there government conspiracies out there? Yeah, probably. Don't trust the government. But don't trust self-important jackasses, either. They are always promoting some hidden agenda. Their kind of paranoia can spread like a new disease, and we don't have a cure for stupidity.

Threat level: YELLOW. It's a fine movie, but you won't miss out not seeing it in theaters and there is little suspense to even earn it the title of "thriller."

Monsters in America: guess what? They're us!

2011-10-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

History professor W. Scott Poole is a man who loves his monsters. He's very clear about that. His deep fascination with the monsters of American history has allowed him to craft an examination of how these monsters have reflected and influenced history.

"Monsters in America: Our Historical Obsession with the Hideous and the Haunting" reveals how all manner of creatures have been woven into the fabric of American history since settlers landed on the Atlantic shore. Sea monsters and slashers, freaks and Frankenstein have all played a part in the collective past of this nation.

There are a number of books and scholarly works that examine horror as a reflection of society's ills and fears. Even I once wrote a paper about the spike in the popularity of horror movies during economic recessions and depressions. Poole goes beyond that to say that monsters aren't just escapist entertainment for rough times. Monstrous imagery has been used in political rhetoric and debates about racism, the sexual revolution, the dissolution of the American family, and many other topics.

It's relatively easy to look at movies for social criticism and Poole's take on everything from 1932's "Frankenstein" and 1968's "Night of the Living Dead" are interesting. But Poole stretches back before movies and TV dominated our culture. Poole discusses the legends of sea monsters that traveled up and down the Atlantic seaboard and how those tales influenced Herman Melville's "Moby-Dick" and how Melville in turn reinforced ideas about white settlers destruction of Native American communities. "Frankenstein," well before Boris Karloff sauntered onto the silver screen, was used in arguments about slavery, often referencing black men as physically strong but operating on pure mindless instinct.

For a scholar, Poole's style is also worth noting. Yes, the text is written in a traditional scholarly form. But unlike many textbooks, Poole will slip in a colloquial phrase every once in a while. It's a pleasant way to remind the average reader than Poole, at heart, is a fanboy, too.

One interesting argument late in the book pits Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight" saga in direct opposition to the HBO series "True Blood." (No mention of Charlaine Harris's novels is made, which is OK with me because I think they are almost as bad as "Twilight.") The argument Poole makes is that while "Twilight" is the antithesis of horror in that its goal is to reinforce traditional family and marital roles, "True Blood" not only breaks from traditional roles, as horror often does, but establishes the new roles as uniquely American in the 21st century.

Poole reveals a bias against "Twilight" that I appreciated, but his examination of the series is no more or less forgiving than his looks at any other entry into America's canon of monsters. And while Poole states that his book will give no clear definition of what a monster is, he does say that America will always find -- or create -- the monster it needs for every era and situation.

Finally, "Monsters in America" proves that horror fans aren't just hormonal teens and overweight single men who still live in their parents' basements. You, young horror aficionado, could grow up to be a professor.

Threat level: ORANGE. Worth the time to read, although I fear many won't be able to get over the scholastic tone. (For an explanation of our ratings, visit the Warning System page.)

"Monsters in America," by W. Scott Poole will be released by Baylor University Press on Oct. 15.

Full Moon Edition: Song of the Week

2011-10-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.

Greetings boils and ghouls! It's your Humble Narrator Shadow Jerusalem of The Single Bullet Theory here tonight with a very special edition of Song of the Week. Well if you happen to be outside tonight and look up you'll notice it's a full moon. Kinda makes you want to get where you're going all the quicker doesn't it? Any horror enthusiast knows that the full moon is when any lycanthropy-beleaguered individual undergoes their monthly transformation to full-blown werewolf (or wolfman such as it is).
The moon has been getting a bad rep since the ancient Greeks and Romans, they believed it caused mania or insanity in an individual, hence the term lunacy.
John Landis' 1981 classic An American Werewolf in London. Two American students hiking through the English moors are attacked by a wild animal on a full moon, David survives only to be haunted by the rotting corpse of his friend Jack insisting he kill himself before the next full moon. Well needless to say David doesn't heed his advice and come the full moon... let's just say things get hairy.
David's Transformation
[Sorry due to the license under the song I can't embed it]

This transformation stands out to me because it's done fully lit, in plain view and without the usage of CGI. Rick Baker (King Kong, Hellboy, too many others to name) was the creative genius behind the werewolf effects not only in this movie but worked on Joe Dante's The Howling, Mike Nichol's Wolf, Joe Johnson's 2010 remake of The Wolf Man and last but certainly not least the scarily delightful music video to Michael Jackson's Thriller

ADDED BONUS:
Since this was just too cool to pass up on a full moon here's a great video of werewolf transformations

So for Warning Signs, this is your lycanthropic pal Shadow saying, beware the moon stay on the road, and load up the silver, it's the ONLY way to kill a werewolf
Now if you'll excuse me my 5 o'clock shadow is getting bushier and I feel the need for raw red meat

Say it once, say it twice, third time's a charm...

2011-10-09T15:29:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, you just have to sit back and watch "Beetlejuice." Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis were on the upward slope of their careers, Tim Burton hadn't directed "Batman" yet and Michael Keaton was still best known as a comedic actor.

1988 sure seems like a long damn time ago, doesn't it?

I bet even Winona Ryder wishes it was still 1988, or at least 1992. What was the last thing you saw her in? If you said "Star Trek," good for you. If you saw "Star Trek" and didn't see Ryder, she was Spock's mom!!!

But I digress.

There's a lot to love about the ghost with the most (even though he's only on screen for about 18 minutes). "Beetlejuice" was Burton's first commercial success and is probably the first film many viewers saw of his. It set the thematic tones we would come to expect (and for some, grow tired of) from Burton. The black and white color scheme (watch for Jack Skellington's face), the cast of quirky beyond belief characters and the knowledge that "normalcy" is relative all get put on the screen in this picture.

As for the title character, can we just go ahead and agree that Keaton as Beetlejuice is the horror-comedy equivalent of Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter? Have two characters ever impacted their respective films more with such brief screen time? I'm going to go ahead and say no. I'm not saying Keaton's performance is as epic as Hopkins'. I am saying that it takes a special actor to accept such a lynchpin role, knowing they wouldn't have much time to get their message across.

"Beetlejuice" is a film that puts every dollar spent right on the screen. None of the primary cast could be accused of phoning it in (although Dick Cavett and Robert Goulet seem D.O.A. in their brief roles). The special effects aren't groundbreaking, but they are fun and interesting.

And then there is the music. Yes, everybody remembers the party scene with people dancing to the "Banana Boat" song. It'll get stuck in your head if you aren't careful. The real aural treat, however, is Danny Elfman's score. He mixes in Harry Belefonte's classic Calypso song, but also begins to establish his unique (and now often imitated) style. One could use the "Beetlejuice" score as background music to a Halloween party and have a great time.

And that really is the best way to watch "Beetlejuice." Dress up, have a party, enjoy the show.

Threat level: RED. Yes. I love this movie and if you haven't seen it, there is something wrong with you.

A busy week ahead for Warning Signs

2011-10-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

Here's what we have coming up this week.

Sunday: Visiting Madd Hatter's Haunt in Yakima, WA before their cast and crew orientation. Will we be joining them for a night or tow of scares? Perhaps. Perhaps.

Monday/Tuesday: Days off from the job that pays the bills. My lovely wife and I are planning to visit a corn maze and make some apple cider.

Wednesday: Chilling with a book. Almost finished reading "Monsters in America" and awaiting the arrival of "Zombies vs. Nazis."

Thursday: "Ghostbusters" at the Majestic Theater. 7 p.m. You should go. Check your local listings for a theater lucky enough to get this classic back.

Friday: Yakima Zombies March Against Hunger. You know me, can't keep me from a good zombie walk.

Saturday: Planning to see "The Thing." Here's the red band trailer.

It's going to be a busy week for your humble narrator. I scare because I care. What are you doing this week?

Dark Night of the Scarecrow: a near-forgotten classic

2011-10-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

The horror movies we see when we're young tend to stick with us longer than the ones we see when we're older. They influence our impressions of everything we see afterward.

I saw "Dark Night of the Scarecrow" in either 1990 or 1991 during TBS's Halloween programming. (We had the crappiest "remote" control in the world. First of all, it wasn't even remote. it was wired inot the cable box. It must have been from the earliest days of cable.) The tale of a mentally disabled farmhand accused of injuring a young girl (shades of "Frankenstein") stuck with me. Seeing real human eyes behind the mask of a scarecrow was frightening.

At the time, I lived in a dairy community. While not on a farm myself, there were plenty of grain silos around. The possibility of getting stuck in one and smothered by grain was real.

The sad thing is that was the only time I saw "Dark Night of the Scarecrow." Since then, I've learned that it was a CBS made-for-television movie originally broadcast on Oct. 24, 1981 (a week before my second birthday). The Frank De Felitta-directed film is now available on DVD and Blu-ray, so if you wanted to send me a copy for my 32nd birthday, that'd be great.

Poe Rocks!

2011-10-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

A lot of E.A. Poe stuff coming out these days. Check out this piece with rock stars talking about Poe's influence on them and how he coulda been a rocker himself.

Goodbye, David Hess

2011-10-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

David Hess, star of Wes Craven's 1972 "Last House on the Left" has died at 69, according to various reports.

If you've never seen "Last House on the Left," you should. It's just as shocking now as it was 40 years ago.

No word on Hess's official website, but it appears that the site hasn't been updated since 2009.

Al Davis, owner of the Oakland Raiders, also passed away to day. He was pretty scary sometimes, too.

Poe on film

2011-10-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

I could have included this in my last post, but really, it deserves it's own.

It's the first trailer for "The Raven" starring John Cusack as Poe in the last days before his death. Dread Central has a great synopsis for the film, set for a March, 2012 release.

The ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir

2011-10-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

On Oct. 7, 1849, a 40-year-old poet and literary critic died in a Baltimore hospital. He'd been well-known, sometimes respected before his death. Afterward, he became the godfather of American horror.

Today marks the 162nd anniversary of Edgar Allan Poe's death. Poe's work is all in the public domain, which means I can post the following poem and not get sued.

"Ulalume"
The skies they were ashen and sober;
The leaves they were crisped and sere -
The leaves they were withering and sere;
It was night in the lonesome October
Of my most immemorial year:
It was hard by the dim lake of Auber,
In the misty mid region of Weir -
It was down by the dank tarn of Auber,
In the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.

Here once, through and alley Titanic,
Of cypress, I roamed with my Soul -
Of cypress, with Psyche, my Soul.
These were days when my heart was volcanic
As the scoriac rivers that roll -
As the lavas that restlessly roll
Their sulphurous currents down Yaanek
In the ultimate climes of the pole -
That groan as they roll down Mount Yaanek
In the realms of the boreal pole.

Our talk had been serious and sober,
But our thoughts they were palsied and sere -
Our memories were treacherous and sere, -
For we knew not the month was October,
And we marked not the night of the year
(Ah, night of all nights in the year!) -
We noted not the dim lake of Auber
(Though once we had journeyed down here) -
Remembered not the dank tarn of Auber,
Nor the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.

And now, as the night was senescent
And star-dials pointed to morn -
As the star-dials hinted of morn -
At the end of our path a liquescent
And nebulous lustre was born,
Out of which a miraculous crescent
Arose with a duplicate horn -
Astarte's bediamonded crescent
Distinct with its duplicate horn.

And I said: "She is warmer than Dian;
She rolls through an ether of sighs -
She revels in a region of sighs:
She has seen that the tears are not dry on
These cheeks, where the worm never dies,
And has come past the stars of the Lion
To point us the path to the skies -
To the Lethean peace of the skies -
Come up, in despite of the Lion,
To shine on us with her bright eyes -
Come up through the lair of the Lion,
With love in her luminous eyes."

But Psyche, uplifting her finger,
Said: "Sadly this star I mistrust -
Her pallor I strangely mistrust:
Ah, hasten! -ah, let us not linger!
Ah, fly! -let us fly! -for we must."
In terror she spoke, letting sink her
Wings until they trailed in the dust -
In agony sobbed, letting sink her
Plumes till they trailed in the dust -
Till they sorrowfully trailed in the dust.

I replied: "This is nothing but dreaming:
Let us on by this tremulous light!
Let us bathe in this crystalline light!
Its Sybilic splendour is beaming
With Hope and in Beauty tonight! -
See! -it flickers up the sky through the night!
Ah, we safely may trust to its gleaming,
And be sure it will lead us aright -
We safely may trust to a gleaming,
That cannot but guide us aright,
Since it flickers up to Heaven through the night."

Thus I pacified Psyche and kissed her,
And tempted her out of her gloom -
And conquered her scruples and gloom;
And we passed to the end of the vista,
But were stopped by the door of a tomb -
By the door of a legended tomb;
And I said: "What is written, sweet sister,
On the door of this legended tomb?"
She replied: "Ulalume -Ulalume -
'Tis the vault of thy lost Ulalume!"

Then my heart it grew ashen and sober
As the leaves that were crisped and sere -
As the leaves that were withering and sere;
And I cried: "It was surely October
On this very night of last year
That I journeyed -I journeyed down here! -
That I brought a dread burden down here -
On this night of all nights in the year,
Ah, what demon hath tempted me here?
Well I know, now, this dim lake of Auber -
This misty mid region of Weir -
Well I know, now, this dank tarn of Auber,
This ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir."

That's Jeff Buckley reading the same poem in the clip provided. I thought I'd give you something different than "The Raven." That's a great poem, but it takes place in December. "Ulalume" happens in October.

Scary song of the week: Hell

2011-10-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

This week's scary song comes straight from the big band craze of the late 1990s. Remember that? Yeah, it didn't last very long, but some pretty cool songs came out of it.

This little number is by Squirrel Nut Zippers (great band name). It's called "Hell." Enjoy.

Ectoplasmic residue

2011-10-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

If the listings for my local theaters are correct, the special Thursday night screenings of "Ghostbusters" are coming to me.

Can I get a hell yeah?

There will be three chances to see "Ghostbusters" this month. I will be catching the first opportunity, Thursday, Oct. 13 (yes, that seems appropriate). I don't know about you, but I haven't seen this movie in the theater since I was five. I bet there are a lot of people who've never had that experience.

In the words of Dr. Peter Venkman, "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"

Killer cereals

2011-10-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Halloween is all about candy, right? Yes and no. Halloween is also the time of year when the best cereals hit the shelves for a limited time.

Count Chocula, Frankenberry and Boo Berry are all on grocery store shelves now (if you're lucky). I'm about halfway through my first box of Count Chocula for the month already. It's the best of the three, in my opinion.

If you aren't into monsters, there's also Halloween Crunch from Cap'n Crunch. It advertises that it'll turn your milk green. Yes, I think that is cool. Yes, I have a box waiting for me to try.

Don't get me wrong. I tend to eat childish cereals all year long. But the Monster Cereals (and Christmas Crunch Berries) always get me excited.

In Defense of Freakling Bros.

2011-10-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

I've worked in the haunted attraction business. I've worked for Duke Mollner and Freakling Bros. in Las Vegas. The above story really gets me angry.

Haunted houses are intense. Freakling Bros. and other attractions have to compete with movies and video games for attention. So the creators crank it up, make it as scary as possible.

When the house tells you that if you have a heart condition or epilepsy, you may not want to go through, it isn't a publicity stunt. When they make you sign a waiver (as Freakling Bros now does for its "Gates of Hell" attraction) telling you that you are going to be sworn at and possibly lightly touched on the shoulder or knees, it's not for publicity. It's because the guys running the show have to protect themselves from bullcrap like people trying to shut them down because their 17-year-old daughter got called a bad name.

In the above news story, the parents of one girl claim she was licked. Here's the thing: if you are in that haunted house and are more scared than you have ever been, your mind is going to make the experience even worse than it actually is. If an actor licked his or her finger and ran it across your shoulders, you're going to think you've been licked. (Yeah, that's kind of gross and probably a bit beyond what was intended. I'm not saying that's what happened. I'm taking a guess based on my experience as a haunted house performer.)

I've been in those houses, as a patron and and actor. As a patron, Freakling Bros. put me on my ass. They are scary. As a performer, I said some mean, vile, cruel, and intense things to strangers. In character, I more than once threatened to beat people with a shovel. I never touched anyone. Yes, I spoke very closely to some people to scare them as much as I could. That was my job and that was what they paid for.

Just like any business, if you want it shut down, don't go. I remember the groups of protestors outside the attraction, yelling through bullhorns that we were all going to Hell. You know what that did? It brought more people out. So will this. There will even be weirdos show up who want to be touched, some who might even want to be licked. But guess what? That ain't going to happen. There are rules. I happen to know that if you break Duke's rules while on the job, he finds someone else for your part.

So, if you don't want to be scared, don't go to the haunted house. If you don't agree with what's in the warnings or the waiver, don't go. And if you sign the line and go inside and don't like what happens, well, it's your own damn fault.

Life after After.Life

2011-10-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to think of a way to tell you how "After.Life" made my wife angry without actually giving away the reasons. Maybe by the time I reach the end of this post, I'll have it figured out.

"After.Life" is the story Anna (Christina Ricci) and her time with funeral director Eliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) as he prepares her for her funeral. The thing is, Anna doesn't think she's dead.

Here's what's good about the movie: Ricci is hot. She spends most of the movie in a short red nightgown and yes, shows her goods a lot.

"After.Life" plays like an R-rated episode of the 1980s revamp of "The Twilight Zone." All the ideas (and the twisted ending) are there, but the heart isn't.

If you've watched a lot of "Twilight Zone" you know that things aren't always fair. Sometimes the bad guys win. Sometimes the good guys get screwed over. Sometimes there are happy endings. The ending of "After.Life" made my wife mad. Yes, it had one of those weird "Twilight Zone" endings, but wasn't as satisfying. She doesn't like movies where the majority of the plot hinges on one moment of miscommunication. Anna freaks out when her boyfriend Paul (Justin Long) tells he he's been given a promotion and will have to move to Chicago. She thinks he's leaving her when he was planning to propose to her. If she'd listened a little longer, she wouldn't have ended up in Deacon mortuary.

Most of the movie has Anna and Deacon talking about how Anna really is dead and how she had no life left in her, anyway. There are hints int he opening scenes of Anna being depressed and a bloody nose in the shower subplot that goes nowhere. Anna also has a controlling mother that adds some characterization but is never a fully realized relationship.

The same can be said for much of the film. There are ideas that go nowhere and decent acting that doesn't pan out in the end. It's no surprise, then, that the first I heard of this movie was one day, about a year ago, looking through horror movies at a Best Buy. It wasn't until a couple days ago that my wife and I finally watched it. There wasn't a rush. "After.Life" is interesting but unimportant. No one's career (except maybe director/co-writer Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo) will hinge on whether or not you see this movie.

In a way, Anna situation is the perfect metaphor for the film. Her life is incomplete and unsatisfying. "After.Life" is lacking heart and the ending is not as satisfying as it could have been (even with the maddening resolution).

Threat level: BLUE. Unless you really just need to see Christina Ricci's boobs, then it's a RED.

Schedule of the dead

2011-10-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

OK, folks. Warning Signs has been building up to this all summer. The full three day program schedule for Seattle's ZomBcon 2011 is up.

Check it out.

Now, the question is: what are my priorities. Ultimately, I am there to bring you, my readers, the best coverage I can. You have to remember is that I am a fan, too. And this is my first convention. (I've covered some fairly big names in the music biz, so I shouldn't get as starstruck as I might otherwise. But seriously. Look at the schedule and tell me you wouldn't go all fanboy/fangirl over some of this stuff.)

There are some panels that get me excited more than others. The Sunday offerings of an examination of Christian theology in the undead piques my interest as does a panel on the evolution of horror journalism (which I am proud to be a part of).

There are some things I really don't care about, but you might. The "True Blood" programs, for example. Yeah, just not interested. If you, the readers, demand that I go, then fine. I'll go.

I'm excited to see Lucio Fulci's "Zombie," "Day of the Dead" and "The Evil Dead" with a crowd instead of alone in my house.

And the only thing that would make a "Devil's Rejects" screening better than having Sid Haig and Bill Moseley there would be if Mr. and Mrs. Rob Zombie randomly showed up.

And if you're not into horror (then why are you reading this?), there is a "Boondock Saints" panel with Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus.

I told you, this is going to be a great weekend and it's less than 20 days away!

Dream House: a haunted man

2011-10-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

Parents: do you hate your children? You do? Then why don't you take them with you to see "Dream House." They'll just love the first two-thirds of the movie in which a man interacts with the ghosts of his wife and daughters whom he may or may not have brutally murdered.

Seriously. Don't do this. Don't be the jackass dad who sat a few rows in front of me with his eight- and six-year-old daughters.

Now that my bad parent rant is out of my system, let's talk about "Dream House."

The first twist of the movie is given away in the trailer, so I'm not spoiling anything for you by telling you that Daniel Craig plays Will/Peter, a man who sees the family that he may or may not have murdered. It takes him a while to realize who he is (and why everyone in town stares at him like he's a leper) and the development of that realization is interesting to watch. Once he does accept who he is, things pick up and Will/Peter has to tell his dead wife (Rachel Weisz) that she's dead.

And then there's the kids. two cute little girls who we can guess for the whole movie are already dead. Children in peril, especially from a parental figure, always bugs me (which is why I'm still pissed off at that father who brought his own daughters to the movie).

The good news is that it all works out in the end. There's some real emotion between Craig and Weisz (who ended up getting married after filming this movie). There are also a couple of moments when you have "real" people experiencing their grief over the family -- their neighbors-- who were snatched away by tragedy.

What there isn't, is scares. There's great tension between Will/Peter's two realities and there are moments set up for good jump scares that never come. Most of the supporting cast, including Naomi Watts, do their job, but don't add anything.

What bothers me the most about the film, however, is that it feels like a screenwriter's class assignment. Screenwriting 101: Imitate your favorite writer.

In this case, screenwriter David Loucka's favorite writer is Uncle Stevie. Yep, "Dream House" has bad Stephen King rip-off written all over it. (Which must mean it's a Dean Koontz book. I kid, I kid.) Will/Peter is a big city editor who leaves his job for a life at the country home and time to spend with his family and writing the great American novel with a British accent. Things aren't what they seem to be, yadda yadda yadda. Second big twist (no, I'm not telling) in the last 20 minutes and fade out to "some time later."

The good news is that Loucka and director Jim Sheridan (he did "The Boxer," "My Left Foot" and "In the Name of the Father," which leads me to wonder if he tried to get Daniel Day-Lewis into this movie) know their dance steps. "Dream House" isn't great, but it's not that bad. In a way, that makes it worse. Maybe it could have been amazing. On the other hand, it could have turned out like some direct-to-video knock-off of a more successful film.

This is the third -- as far as I can remember -- haunted house movie released so far in 2011. If I had to rank them (and I will, otherwise I wouldn't bring it up), I would place "Dream House" somewhat above "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" and below "Insidious." "Dream House" delivers on exactly what it promises: a decent haunted house movie with fairly good actors. "Insidious" beat my expectations and "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" didn't quite reach them, so "Dream House" is right in the middle. (Here's hoping "Paranormal Activity 3" blows them all out of the water.)

Threat level: YELLOW. It's not quite good enough for an orange rating and I don't have anything else between orange and yellow. Sorry.

"Dream House" is rated PG-13 and stars Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts. David Loucka wrote the screenplay directed by Jim Sheridan.

Scary song of the week: Thriller

2011-09-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

John Landis is in Seattle tomorrow. So the music video he directed, "Thriller," is our scary song of the week.

Dance along, it's OK.

Night in the (not so) Lonesome October

2011-09-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's the last day of September. That means autumn is with us. It's time to pick your pumpkins and your Halloween costume and get ready for the best month of the year.

There are a lot of reasons October is so great. First of all, it means summer is really over, but winter isn't here yet. It means you can get good apple cider. It means TV specials such as "The Horrors of Stephen King" hit the screen as well as the second season of "The Walking Dead."

This October has some real treats in store. Five hundred theaters will show "Ghostbusters" on Thursdays during the month. The third of five weekends in the month, Warning Signs will be at ZomBcon in Seattle. Big horror movie releases include the prequel to John Carpenter's "The Thing" and "Paranormal Activity 3." (Sorry, folks. The "Saw" franchise is done.)

All of this leads up to the big night: Halloween. It's on a Monday this year, which kind of sucks. But you could spend the entire weekend partying. Just don't knock on my door Saturday or Sunday night expecting treats. We only give out candy on Halloween. (More on this later in the month.)

We're hoping for a big month. We thought August was great, but, wow, September was amazing. Not only did we surpass 7,000 all-time views, we topped 3,000 for the month (including one day which saw more than 600 views). We couldn't do it without your support. Thanks!

And in case you didn't know, Halloween is Warning Signs founder/editor/head(less) writer T.J.'s birthday. He'll be 32 this year and is still accepting presents. (Cash donations to help fund this blog would make a nice gift.)

So strap on your black and orange clothes and get out last year's candy corn. It's October.

Dead, but still cookin'

2011-09-29T19:57:00.001-07:00

Does your stove's pilot light go off in the middle of dinner? Do key ingredients in your recipes suddenly go missing? Have you too often blamed your spouse for moving that butter you put on the counter to thaw back in the fridge?

Perhaps the culprit isn't your spouse, your kids, pet or a kitchen gremlin. Perhaps your kitchen is ... haunted.

And probably by your dead friend, who is super pissed that you insist on making that recipe that you totally suck at, especially when they always made it better than you.

This is where Mary Ann Winkowski steps in, the real-life inspiration for TV's "The Ghost Whisperer." Apparently over her long career helping lost souls cross over and come to peace with their deadness, Winkowski has collected dozens of recipes. She finally put them all together in "Beyond Delicious: The Ghost Whisperer's Cookbook." More than 100 recipes with stories of origins and the ghosts that gave them up.

It's not chill-giving stuff, but it is a bit spooky, isn't it? I mean, who wants to think about being trapped in this world because you were never able to pass on that recipe you have for really great dressing? Or you feel it is your mission in your afterlife to keep Cousin Susy from trying to make those terrible nut rolls.

What an existence.

Read more about Winkowski and grab a couple of the undead recipes over on my day-job-blog, Appetite. (Cross-promotion is a beautiful thing).

And for the love of pete, write that recipe down and put it somewhere people can find it. If you're going to be a ghost, be one that eats heads or infects toasters. Don't be trapped here trying to keep a souffle from falling.

This house is haunted

2011-09-29T15:33:00.000-07:00

"Dream House," a haunted house flick starring ~~James Bond~~ Daniel Craig opens Friday. If you surf the net, you'll find a lot of "top ten haunted house movies" lists.

I could do that, but I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to talk about why haunted house movies are made for the PG-13 rating.

Don't get me wrong. I like my horror strong and scary. That usually brings an R rating. But haunted houses are a different kind of monster.

What I want from a haunted house movie isn't blood, sex and swearing. Yes, there are great R rated haunted house movies, with the two "Paranormal Activity" movies leading that bunch. Those movies follow the rules of what makes a good PG-13 haunted house movie, just with a fuckton of swearing.

Atmosphere, which "Paranormal Activity" is loaded with, is key to the great PG-13 haunted house movie. Atmosphere covers many aspects of a film. I include setting (old house or unexpectedly new house), sound (lack of a score, sounds with no visual reason for existing) and lighting (is it always dark or is scary shit happening in the bright of day, too?) as part of a film's atmosphere.

The classics of haunted house films were all brooding mansions. "Poltergeist" brought the haunted house into the suburbs. Coincidentally, "Poltergeist" was one of two films that made the MPAA adopt the PG-13 rating. The film took all the haunted house conventions audiences were used to seeing in drafty houses and put them smack in the middle of a two-story cookie cutter home. You could call it a rule-changer, but really, the rules stayed the same. Steven Spielberg and Tobe Hooper simply changed the playing field.

You are allowed to disagree, the "The Others," starring Nicole Kidman, is a successful haunted house movie. Forget the gimmick of the main characters being the ghosts (hope I didn't spoil that for you, but seriously, the movie is 10 years old) and just listen to it.

Kidman's character sits in the middle of a room and hears all sorts of things going on around her, but nothing moves and she doesn't see a thing. Try it at home. Slam a door at one end of your house and see if someone on the other end gets scared. Humans are visually oriented. The things you can't see are always worse than what you can. If you can hear something (or worse, smell something) but you can't see it, your tension level gets ramped up.

So let's go back to "Paranormal Activity" for a moment. What makes these films work? Is it the "found footage" trend and its added realism? That's a big part of it, sure. But what really makes "Paranormal Activity" pop is that weird shit will happen in the light of day, not just the dead of night.

It's easy to blame weirdness on being tired or tricks of the light when it's midnight. But what is your excuse when it's noon and all hell breaks loose in your kitchen? You have no excuse. You are forced to confront the fact that your house is haunted.

ZomBcon schedules coming together

2011-09-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

With less than a month to go before ZomBcon in Seattle, the schedules for the three-day event are coming together.

Have a look the schedule for day 1.

Pretty intense, isn't it?

That first night includes the following:

6:15PM – CREEPSHOW: SCARRED FOR LIFE: A Recollection Of Scattered Pieces And Body Parts.

Featured Guest: Tom Savini, John Amplas, and Michael Gornick
Moderator: Chris Alexander, Editor-in-Chief, Fangoria Magazine

7PM – BOONDOCK SAINTS: CLEANING OUT THE DEAD

Featured Guest: Principal Cast Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery

8PM – BILL AND SID’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES: Tales Of Triumph And Tragedy From Two Of Terrorland’s Legends

Featured Guest: Principal Cast Sid Haig and Bill Moseley
Moderator: Thom Carnell and Sean Smithson, Journalist at Fangoria and Twitch

9:30PM – THE DEVIL’S REJECTS FILM SCREENING (FREE – ON SITE)

That's just a sample of what's in store. I'm going to do my best to bring you coverage of everything I can. As the schedules for Saturday and Sunday are released, I will point them out. What I want you to do, Warning Signs reader, is to let me know what you would want to see. I will make it a point to get to the things you want to read about.

Dracula II: It could have been worse

2011-09-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the best thing you can say about a bad movie is that it wasn't the worst movie you've seen lately — or even ever. No, that honor continues to belong to "Dylan Dog" and likely won't be overthrown any time soon.

But after several months of "Dracula II: The Ascension" hanging out in our Netflix Instant Queue, we were willing to give it it's shot at the crown.

It gave it it's best efforts.

If you haven't bothered to give this one a look yet, you've had plenty of opportunities. It's a frequenter in $5 bins since being released direct-to-video in 2003. The film is a sequel to "Dracula 2000," the "Wes Craven presents" semi-original plotline starring Gerard Butler as the first vampire, also Judas Iscariot. I rather liked it.

Director Patrick Lussier is back for the sequel, along with cowriter Joel Soisson — and that's it for repeats. Butler isn't back (can you blame him?), which leaves the films new stars (Jason Scott Lee as the vampire-hunting priest, Diane Neal as Drac's love interest, Jason London ("Out Cold") as the would-be hero and Stephen Billington as Dracula II — no shit, that's his actual credit) to try to weave in a convenient plot device to explain away Drac's new appearance. In this one, he's a tall, pale blonde. Turns out, each time Dracula dies, but not really, "his face changes." Neat.

Quick plot-line synopsis: In this take, Drac was cut down from hanging over the streets of New Orleans and dropped off at the morgue, where his body is stolen and he is brought back to life by a group of med students, lead by their crippled teacher, Lowell (Craig Sheffer). There's a British guy that knows all about vamps (of course), a priest crossing the world seeking to give Dracula his last rites so he can finally die and a whole host of also-rans who get killed at convenient moments in the film.

Really, it's pretty standard vampire flick fare.

What makes this movie worse than other bad blood-sucking movies is the lack of continuity. It meshes with the first one well-enough (except for the actors, and the fact that they totally forgot about Mary Van Helsing and how she was supposed to be watching over Drac's corpse), but the characters don't seem to be well-enough developed to know their own motivations. In only 85 minutes, each character takes turns wanting out of the whole mess, wanting to be a vampire themselves, wanting to harvest Drac's blood for more noble purposes and then just wanting out again. Sometimes they cycle through all of these emotions — quite unconvincingly — in a matter of moments.

Bad acting aside, this movie has some great lines. Lee's priest hunter starts out lame and confusing, but grows into his role with some real zingers, including "God can have your soul — I just want your head." And London is easily the best actor in the film, earning his upgrade to full-time vampire hunter in — you guessed it — "Dracula III: Legacy."

That's right — it's a TRILOGY! Lee and London are back chasing Drac and his girl across the world, trying to end it once and for all. Sadly, III isn't on Netflix Instant Watch, so I'll have to dig it out of the $5 bin. It might be worth it. "Ascension" started slow, but ended strong enough that I am willing to give Lee and London a shot at ending it.

Warning level: Yellow. It could have been worse. Some really bad acting, some funny lines, but if you weren't going to do anything with those 85 minutes, you might as well give them to Hollywood.

Can't Look Away ... hoping to be there to meet John Landis

2011-09-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

Seattle's EMP Museum opens it's horror-themed exhibit "Can't Look Away: The Lure of the Horror Film" on Sunday, Oct. 2.

Your humble narrator had planned to get to the exhibit later in the month. I just learned, however, that John Landis, one of the co-curators of the exhibit, will be doing a Q&A on Saturday. So I'm going to my best to get there. It'll be a long couple days for me (like many of you, I have a job to pay the bills and can't just run off to Seattle whenever I want) but if I make it, it'll be worth it.

Stay tuned.

And keep watching the skies.

John Landis: a man who knows his monsters

2011-09-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

John Landis knows a thing or two about monsters. He's created a few and always speaks with wisdom when discussing cinema's darkest creatures. So when he writes a book about movie monsters, it's a good idea to read it.

I plan to pick up the book as soon as I can. In the meantime, Wired.com has a short preview of what's in store when "Monsters in the Movies" hits bookstores.

And for more of Landis talking about a subject he knows a lot about, watch this video.

Magnet Releasing: expect the unexpected

2011-09-25T14:37:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while, a studio or distributor catches on and really makes a bang in the horror genre. We had Universal Studios in the 1930s, AIP in the 1950s and '60s, Hammer in the '60s and '70s, New Line in the '80s, Artisan/Lionsgate in the 1990s-2000s and Anchor Bay for years.

Magnet Releasing, the genre arm of Magnolia Pictures, is making a case to be among this grand tradition.

You may have heard of some of the films Magnet has brought to audiences: "Hobo with a Shotgun," "Black Death," "13 Assassins," "I Saw the Devil," and "Rubber" are among the best genre films I've seen in a long time. And Magnet still has "Tucker and Dale vs. Evil" now on video on demand and select theaters Sept. 30.

The average movie-goer might not care about having a distributor that consistently pumps out quality products. Sure, if it's a Disney movie or the newest Dreamworks film, that has some added cache, often rising on past success to bring in an audience. It's hard to trust someone new. And if the only movie Magnet has distributed was the awful "Survival of the Dead" then I would be a doubter. Hey, if you had a chance to put out a George Romero film you probably would, too. Even if it sucked.

Right now, I'm telling you, I believe in Magnet and will continue to seek out films from this company. Any distributor that takes a chance on a movie such as "Rubber" deserves my attention.

Hearing from Dr. Sleep

2011-09-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

Some people have all the luck. They are in the right place at the right time to hear Stephen King speak. I've never been so lucky.

Thankfully, someone snuck a camera into a recent King appearance at George Mason University. King read a portion of "Dr. Sleep," the yet-to-be published sequel to "The Shining."

The reading is classic King set up, leaving us to hope the payoff is worth it.

Bag of Bones: My favorie King

2011-09-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

It's a fairly common question: What is your favorite book by your favorite author? When it comes to Stephen King, there are so many possibilities, it's mind boggling.

There are King novels that I don't like as much as others. "The Tommyknockers" is an interesting premise but the characters pale in comparison to those in other books.

And there are people who swear that the Dark Tower books are the end all, be all of King's works. There are also people who say King's best work ended in 1983 with "Pet Semetary." (These are the same people who haven't read "The Green Mile" because it's not horror.)

My favorite is "Bag of Bones." Surprised? Thought I was leaning toward "The Shining" or maybe "The Dead Zone"? You guessed wrong.

"Bag of Bones" is the pinnacle of King's crossover work. It is frightening in places and has that sense of truth other books lack. Yes, there are ghosts and weirdness, but the take of Mike Noonan, his writer's block and how he finds out about the life his deceased wife had is as real as fiction can get.

If there is a book (besides "The Green Mile") that proved to the establishment that King is a literary author, not just some hack and slash horror writer, it is "Bag of Bones."

The strange thing is that I know people who found the book boring. Or maybe they just thought it was cliche. "Bag of Bones" distills the essence of King, so it feels like you are reading any number of his other books. So I can see how some readers might not like "Bag of Bones." It's like people who won't buy a greatest hits album. If you are a real fan, you have all the other albums anyway and likely enjoy the non-hit songs more than the popular songs.

But sometimes, a band releases a greatest hits album with bonus tracks: previously unreleased material, rarities or remixes.

Consider "Bag of Bones" to be King's greatest hits. You know the basic material, but it's the bonus tracks that make it worth reading.

Beyond my simple pleasure in reading the book, "Bag of Bones" has also proven to be the most inspirational to my own fiction writing. I took the title of my own novel from a phrase in the book. (No, you won't be able to find it because it hasn't been published. Because the third act needs a major rewrite.) It is strange that a book concerning one writer's struggle to continue his creative life would inspire my own. That's just how things are.

My hope now is that the cinematic version holds on to as much of the truth in the book that I love. It's being filmed now with Mick Garris behind the camera, Pierce Brosnan as Mike Noonan and Melissa George as Mattie Devore. It's being shot to air on cable network A&E, which means I won't get to see it on its initial broadcast. Because I don't have cable.

So, if you are out there, A&E public relations people, when "Bag of Bones" is ready to air, go ahead and send me a preview copy, m'kay?

I call him Uncle, some call him Dad

2011-09-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not the only person writing about Stephen King. Thankfully, I don't have the problem of being a Maine horror writer trying to live in his shadow.

This guy does.

I laughed my ass off reading this post and will spend some time reading the rest of his blog.

Three Kings: Best Family Guy Episode Ever

2011-09-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

OK, so maybe it isn't the best ever, but for our purposes, it is. During the seventh season of "Family Guy," Stephen King gave permission to parody three movies based on his work.

"Stand By Me," "Misery" and "The Shawshank Redemption" get the "Family Guy" treatment, although probably kinder than some parodies.

The important thing to remember is that these are parodies of the movies, not really of the written works. It's a gray area for some, but still important to know.

OK, putting away the uber-nerd part of me. Getting to the silly, ridiculous part.

Most of the jokes are pretty obvious, but that's the M.O. for "Family Guy." My favorite of the three segments is the middle one, based on "Misery." In many ways, it's the most like the rest of the show. Stewie as number one fan to Brian's writer reflects the disturbing relationship the two have for most of the series.

The running gag for all three segments is Joe, the wheelchair-bound cop, losing the use of his legs as three different characters.

There's a joke that one could compile enough clips of "The Simpsons" to reproduce "Citizen Kane." "Family Guy" is building up a supply of "The Shining" clips.

Netflix short on King

2011-09-19T19:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, I own a lot of movies based on the works of Stephen King. Unfortunately, many of them are on VHS or in a storage unit in the middle of the Nevada desert or both. So I currently rely on Netflix Instant Watch for much of my entertainment.

When it comes to King, pickings are slim.

Without placing any value judgements on the films themselves, here is a list of what is currently available to stream.

MISERY
The 1990 Rob Reiner film stars James Caan and Kathy Bates in her Academy Award-winning performance as Annie Wilkes.

DOLORES CLAIBORNE
Another Kathy Bates film, this time as a housekeeper accused of killing her boss. Not surprisingly, the companion book "Gerald's Game" has not yet been adapted to film.

HEARTS IN ATLANTIS
A true King fan knows this should have been called "Low Men in Yellow Coats" as this Anthony Hopkins vehicle was only one section of the book sharing the film's title.

THE LANGOLIERS
Tom Holland ("Fright Night," "Child's Play") wrote and directed this two-part TV movie. He hasn't done much since.

SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK
An early 1990s cable movie starring Tim Matheson, based on one of King's early short stories. Spawned two horrible sequels in title only.

GOLDEN YEARS
One of the many mini-series from King. Could have been a series but cut short because no one was watching. Frances Sternhagen is pretty damn good.

CREEPSHOW
King and George Romero teamed up for this homage to EC Comics.

THE STAND
The highlight of TV in 1994. The highlight of Mick Garris's career.

DREAMCATHER
Four friends deal with aliens and the military in the Maine woods.

Absent from this list are the couple of "Children of the Corn" sequels Netflix has, along with other bad sequels. Because those movies suck and if we band together to stop watching them, people will stop making them.

V vs Z: Oh, the stupidity

2011-09-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: The full Vampires versus Zombies episode is available online here.

Much was made of Spike TV's truly stupid show, "Deadliest Warrior", which pits both real and fictitious characters against each others in a battle to see who is strongest. You know, who would be strongest in a totally scripted battle that likely ignores some attribute of either warrior ...

Not that I take issue with the sheer stupid premise of this creation. I'm a woman, I'm not Spike's target audience and I'm OK with that. Also, I don't have cable.

So yeah, the season finale that pits Vampires against Zombies? Not going to see it.

All that being said, I'm going to enter the fray of this absolutely ridiculous discussion as to why this whole thing is no contest. Who do I think wins? Vampires. Duh.

Let's compare our two creatures, shall we? We have two forms of undead, one rotting, one essentially living. Both require fresh human flesh/blood to continue survival. Zombies are a non-thinking, robotic entity, a shell of their former life incapable of plotting, digesting their opponents weaknesses, coming up with strategy, etc. Yes yes, it's becoming more popular to allow zombies to learn and evolve, but that's biologically ridiculous. They're dead. All of their functions are based on muscle memory and whatever small electrical impulses remain in their brains to keep those muscles working. Depending on your mythology, they may have extra strength and can rip you to pieces. However, they are also rotting and have a tendency to fall apart, especially if unfed. They do have a daylight advantage. They're main function: Eat flesh. Spread the virus.

Vampires are thinking, plotting, strategizing undead monsters. They will eat you, but they might torture you just for fun first. They have superhuman strength, sometimes claws (again, mythology differences), fangs for sure and crave human blood. Depending on your viewpoint, an unfed vampire will weaken, sometimes morphing into a strange, batlike creature that is actually a bit more crazy dangerous and has more in common with zombies (ala "Daybreakers" - awesome movie, btw). Where the Z man is all instinct, V has a bit of Freud's Id left, seeing what he wants and being able to figure how to obtain it. They're main function: Drink blood. Destroy humanity (maybe make some little vampire friends along the way. Can't live for eternity alone).

Killing both is easy: Zombies need to lose their heads and/or have brain destroyed. Vampires need their heart destroyed (or entire body -- via fire, daylight, etc.).

Who wins this? Obviously the creature capable of seeking out and methodically destroying his prey. Yes, zombies have a tendency to crowd and could overwhelm a weak vamp, but traditional zombies aren't actively seeking prey. They're just stumbling around, moaning a little, eating what comes by. Also, they wouldn't be seeking vampires because -- dum de dum -- they're dead. Zombies want living flesh. So their motivation to destroy a vampire is what now?

OK, so if you've seen the show, feel free to poke holes all you want to. We're always open to enthusiastic debate here on Warning Signs.

But please, let's just remember what we're discussing here: Unreal zombies killing unreal vampires. If you really are having the VvsZ debate after every episode of The Walking Dead as one article suggests, I have only one thing to say for you:

Get a life. And probably a girlfriend.

The King of Red Sox Nation

2011-09-19T14:44:00.000-07:00

The 2011 Major League Baseball season is winding down. There are about 10 games left to play before the playoffs. You might be saying to yourself, "What does that have to do with horror?" Well, it is Stephen King Week and the Sox are King's team (and mine). So that's what is has to do with horror.

We won't go into the potential late-season meltdown the Sox are going through right now. Let's just say that when the calendar flips to October, the Sox better still be playing. October just isn't as fun if my boys aren't taking the field.

And it's probably worse for King. He actually lives close enough and can afford to go to games at Fenway Park. I've seen the Sox play but never in Boston. Someday.

King is more than a fair weather fan. He's written one novel, "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" in which a former Red Sox player served as a spiritual guide to a girl lost in the woods of Maine.

The book hasn't reached the level of respect many of King's novels have, but it's one I enjoyed. Despite what some critics have said, I think King writes female characters rather well. They are rarely weak or meek and generally don't need a man to take care of them. Then again, I am a man raised by an independent woman, just as King was. So maybe it's a different perspective.

"The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" also has the distinction of being published as a pop-up book.

As for Tom Gordon, he eventually became a Yankee, which sucks. But not as much as Roger Clemens or Johnny Damon becoming Yankees. Jerks.

Speaking of Johnny Damon, King co-wrote a non-fiction book called "Faithful," chronicling the World Series championship 2004 season. He joined with fellow fan Stewart O'Nan (who grew up as a Pittsburgh Pirates fan, but we forgive him. having once thought I would bleed Dodger blue for life, I kind of have to), for a series of email exchanges discussing games and players throughout the season. After the tragic end of the 2003 season, it often seemed like the 2004 campaign would go down the same. But the Sox triumphed, the book got a happy ending and we got the amazing cover photo of catcher Jason Varitek whacking punk-ass Alex Rodriguez in the face.

Man, I love that photo.

"Faithful" is a book by and for fans who love the game but don't need SABRmetrics to enjoy it. For anyone who read King's memoir "On Writing" or followed his "Pop of King" columns in "Entertainment Weekly" (or even if you've ever read one of his forwards to his own novels), you know that King has a strong voice in non-fiction. He writes like he talks, which is something I always thought was a good thing. (More of criticism of King's colloquial style later in the week.)

So, root, root, root for the Red Sox. If they don't win it's a shame.

King walks with the Dead

2011-09-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

Andrew Lincoln Talks Walking Dead and Stephen King

I just finished watching season one of "The Walking Dead." And since it is Stephen King Week at Warning Signs, I am sharing this video with series star Andrew Lincoln. Eventually, he talks about King.

We've been enduring rumors that King and fellow author Joe Hill will team up to write an episode of the second season. Before developer and frequent King adapter Frank Darabont left the show, this felt like a done deal. Here's hoping it still happens.

Until the new season debuts, I'll likely watch season one again. Maybe even more than once.

My first King: Misery and The Dark Half

2011-09-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

It is a well-known fact that "Misery" was the first Stephen King book I ever read. I was 11 and it scared the hell out of me. Every night, before I went to sleep, I had to throw the book beneath my bed. Out of sight, out of mind.

Yeah, right.

In the 20 years since then (Has it been that long? Am I so old that I have been reading King for two decades?), I have never been able to get Annie Wilkes out of my mind. The missing keys from Paul Sheldon's third hand typewriter clack away in my brain when I least expect it.

I am not alone. There is a reason I have stuck with King since I was in grade school. There are people who have been reading his books and short stories for 15 years longer than I have. For me, it started with "Misery." For you, it might have been different. For better or worse (yes, this relationship has lasted longer than many marriages), we are Constant Readers.

Yes, everyone remembers their first. I also remember my second dose of King.

"The Dark Half," like much of King's work, is about a writer. You write what you know. (Another day, we might discuss how tiresome the writer in horror fiction trope has become, but for now, we'll pretend that only King has used so many writers as protagonists.) Thad Beaumont and his alter-ego George Stark spoke to me. The young Beaumont, a burgeoning writer, felt like me. Wanting to create new worlds and shock the masses.

I fell in love with affectation. I have never been able to find any Berol Black Beauty pencils, but I do have a good supply of black Ticonderogas. If the demands of the world didn't deem computers neccesary, I would write solely with pens, pencils and typewriters.

Of course, I also loved the dark side of things. Part of me still wants a black Oldsmobile Toronado.

The other thing about these books, and something to think about if you are a parent, is that I learned a lot of new words. At the time, I didn't know what some of them meant. I knew the big ones, the F-word, the S-word, and such. Beyond not knowing what the words meant, I didn't always have the contextual knowledge to understand certain phrases or situations. That didn't keep me from being scared.

So while other kids my age were reading R.L. Stine's "Fear Street" books, if they were even into horror, I was learning from the King.

And that's how we open Stephen King Week. What was your first King experience? Your second?

It's Four Past Midnight, let Stephen King Week begin

2011-09-18T00:04:00.000-07:00

It's the time you've all been waiting for. The clock has struck four past midnight, so it's time for Stephen King Week to begin at Warning Signs.

We'll be celebrating the good, the bad and the ugly of our favorite contemporary author all week. Why, you ask? Because Wednesday, September 21 is Uncle Stevie's 64th birthday.

We'll still talk about other things going bump in the night, such as Alice Cooper's new album, AMC's "The Walking Dead" and a look at horror in American history with W. Scott Poole's "Monsters in America." But the biggest number of posts will center on the man who made Maine famous for horror fans throughout the nation and the world.

We might even talk a little baseball, as the Boston Red Sox close out the regular season with eyes on the Major League Baseball playoffs.

So grab your favorite book, turn the bathroom light on and get a snack (something red and meaty). Stephen King Week is here.

Remember when I was mad about not seeing The Ward?

2011-09-17T17:26:00.001-07:00

Remember that? That was back in the early days of Warning Signs. I really wanted to see John Carpenter's "The Ward." But it didn't play here and I didn't bother to pay to watch it on my computer.

It's all good, now. Because apparently watching "The Ward" kills computers.

While you are reading that post, you should read through the rest of Horror Digest, one of the better blogs out there. Tell 'em Warning Signs sent you.

The Addams Family versus The Munsters: Final round

2011-09-17T16:32:00.000-07:00

It's time to settle this once and for all. Which horror family will come out on top and which one will be buried alive. The third and final round of The Addams Family versus The Munsters.

Let's get it on.

Round One went to The Addams Family, thanks to the strengths of Gomez and Morticia. That didn't stop The Munsters, though. They came out swinging in Round Two with Grandpa and Eddie Munster taking the points in that round.

First of all, let's look at who is left. From the Munster clan, we are left with only Marylin Munster, the blonde niece living with Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman. And that's all. From the Addams home, we still have Wednesday, Uncle Fester, Lurch and Thing. Not exactly a fair fight at this point.

The above video might be one of the coolest things I've ever randomly found on YouTube. It's an examination of why two different actresses, Beverly Owen and Pat Priest, played Marilyn Munster. The truth is, Marilyn Munster kind of sucks. Sure, she's nice to look at and sometimes contributes to the plot, but really, who cares?

PROS: The original "second Beckie."
CONS: Pointless character implemented just so regular people had someone to identify with.

At this point, one must decide whether to pit Marilyn Munster against Wednesday Addams, which seems like the obvious match up, or Uncle Fester, the character she might have more in common with.

Neither is really fair. Wednesday, much like her brother Puggsley, is not a key cog in "The Addams Family" as a successful television program. Uncle Fester has a far greater impact on the plot.

The greatest strength of Wednesday Addams is that the character provided Christina Ricci with her breakout role.

PROS: Goth icon Christina Ricci.
CONS: Too young in the show to really do anything cool.

Uncle Fester is great. In the show, he's Gomez's uncle, not his brother like in the movies. And he's a bit weirder, in my opinion. More extreme, more squeaky-voiced, less serious.

PROS: Bald is beautiful.
CONS: Looks like he might smell like cheese.

If pitted against Wednesday Addams, I believe Marilyn Munster would come to a draw. If matched against Uncle Fester, the blonde Munster doesn't stand a chance. To be fair, we may just have to forfeit this match and cancel any and all points earned by both sides.

Which means The Addams family wins.

Shocked? Don't be. The Addams Family still has Lurch and Thing on a regular basis plus guests such as Cousin Itt.

So what does "The Munsters" have that "The Addams Family" doesn't? A surf rock theme-song.

Halloween countdown

2011-09-16T19:04:00.001-07:00

Halloween countdown at FlashBannerNow.com

Scary song of the week: The Stand

2011-09-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

Stephen King Week at Warning Signs starts on Sunday. Our Scary Song of the Week is just a little teatse for what's to come.

This is a sample of music from the 1994 miniseries "The Stand." We'll talk about that more later. For now, enjoy the music and send in your favorite Stephen King moments to tj@warning-signs.net.

Chucky wants to play

2011-09-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

So first Freddy Krueger gets a shot as a character in Mortal Kombat. Now Chucky from the "Child's Play" movies gets his own game. And the best, you play AS Chucky.

I found this bit of news from Shock 'Til You Drop, another great source for horror news. According to them, there is a pamphlet for the game inside the Blu-ray edition of "Halloween II." They have a shot of the pamphlet, too.

The sad part is that there is a web address that says downloadable is available now. As they and I discovered, the URL is not yet active. Go ahead and bookmark it now, just in case: www.tikgames.com/chucky