Wednesday, April 10, 2013

You'll Never Find the Necronomicon!


I know, it's been awhile. Did you miss me? Really, I'm sorry. Give me a break. My wife just had our first baby back in March. Thankfully, my mom and sister came to visit last weekend, so we left the baby with his mom and aunt while I took my mom to see the new Evil Dead movie.

We reminisced about the time we saw Drag Me to Hell and watched a couple teen girls leave crying and screaming. That was a good day.

The new flick is satisfying in a number of ways and unsatisfying in others. There are plenty of nods to the original film and its sequels. Thankfully, they aren't distracting or interrupt the story. They make us think that one thing will happen but then gives us something slightly different. So that's cool. The unsatisfying moments, however, do the film damage.

Yes, this is a straight up horror movie. There is little comic relief and lines that are somewhat funny become horrible in context. I still giggled because I'm like that. Sure, I cringe a little when a possessed girl licks a razor, but then I delight in the effect of the bifurcated tongue followed by a very unnatural kiss. It's gruesome. Unlike the original set, the blood and gore aren't so repulsive as to become humorous. It's over the top but so serious it's impossible to laugh.

Kudos to the filmmakers for using a majority of practical effects, though. I'm pretty sure they used up the Karo syrup and red food coloring supply of their location. The practical and digital are mixed together in such a way that it's often difficult to discern when an effect came out of a computer versus out of a bottle.

The real problem for this film is that I don't care about the characters. Granted, there will always be a set of character we know are just going to die and not live on for the sequels. The beauty of the first Evil Dead was that we came to care about Ash and wondered how he would move forward after his encounter with the Necronomicon. he seemed like cannon fodder at the beginning but turned into the hero. We get a similar character arc for this film (I won't tell you who becomes the hero, but there really are only two choices), but it feels forced. I don't buy it and I don't care.

What I do care about is what happens next. Stay through the credits, you'll understand.

Threat Level: ORANGE. Mostly for fans and mostly to see a real gruesome movie at the theater without it being a torture porn flick.

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