Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Creepy by association: Chainsaws

Maybe I'm stretching it here. Chainsaws are scary on their own. They are dangerous tools that can cause serious damage when used improperly.

And that was before 1974, before Tobe Hooper unleashed "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" upon the world. Now, chainsaws (sans chain) are a staple of haunted houses that have ran out of ideas.

Yes, I have played the role of chainsaw-wielding, plastic hockey mask-wearing maniac at a haunted attraction. People run when they here that machine crank up. But here's my gripe: Jason Voorhees, he of the hockey mask, has NEVER used a chainsaw. Watch all the "Friday the 13th" movies. If you see Jason use a chainsaw on anyone, let me know, call me a hack, just tell me what movie it is so I can check. I don't think that movie exists. Jason is a spears, arrows, bare hands, and most of all, machete guy. He's a much more up close and personal killer.

You know who uses chainsaws? Leatherface and Ash from "Evil Dead." That's who uses chainsaws. And one of them is a good guy!

In other words, our horrific association with chainsaws has gone beyond the actual use of such items in horror films. A chainsaw is a dangerous tool in the wrong hands. It's a dangerous symbol in the hands of those lacking a certain level of film history knowledge.

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